Breaking Free: A Single Parent's Journey of Resilience, Transformation, and Positivity

Picture this: A single parent, social worker, and an entrepreneur all rolled into one. That's who Jessica Frey is, and she's got valuable insights to share. As a single mom, Jessica juggles parenthood, social work, her online clothing boutique, and even a podcast. Tune in and hear how she navigates through life's challenges, finding precious time for herself amidst being the supermom that she is. Jessica's honest advice for other single parents out there is sure to hit home and inspire.

Ever wondered about the reality of homelessness? As someone with years of experience in social service, Jessica takes us behind the scenes, shedding light on the complexities of homelessness. Listen to her heartwarming story of compassion and generosity coming from unexpected places. Jessica's resilience is awe-inspiring as she talks about her personal battles, including postpartum depression, and how she's been able to turn negativity into a force for personal transformation. 

In the final part of our conversation, Jessica explores the transformative power of positivity. She takes us through her journey of breaking free from her family's limiting beliefs and adopting a positive mindset. Jessica talks about how this shift in thinking has not only changed her life but is also helping her guide others towards peace and authenticity. Jessica's life is a testament to how a positive outlook can dramatically alter our lives. So, join us for this insightful and transformative episode, and let's learn together.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:55

Thank you for being here with me and welcome back. My name is Catherine Daniels and I love to empower people with spiritual healing and wellness. The best thing about Retreat to Peace is the gift of inner peace, greater love and joy During these times of changes and uncertainty in our world. Nothing is permanent except our souls, and that is why we need to come together, traveling through one another's countries, creating a bridge, removing all labels and coming together as one people, finding our home in one world. That is why our signature talk today is so important. Today, I'm excited to welcome my guest speaker, jessica Frey. Hi, jessica.

Speaker 2: 1:40

Hi, how are you?

Speaker 1: 1:42

I am doing well. How are you?

Speaker 2: 1:44

I'm good, thank you. Thank you so much for having me.

Speaker 1: 1:48

You're so welcome. I'm excited to have you. We our audience doesn't know this, but we have been going back and forth trying to get this interview done. So here we are finally, yes, and I'm so glad we're finally here because, I mean, it's just been too long and it's good to connect with you. It's good to be sharing space like this. So, thank you, and for the audience, can you just share a little bit about yourself?

Speaker 2: 2:17

Sure, so I am a single mom to a teenage son, so that's lots of fun. He keeps me very busy, keeps me on my toes. I also work in the social services field, mainly with the homeless population. I have a online clothing boutique that not really as invested in as I maybe should be. It's kind of just a little something fun that I do on the side, and I also have a podcast of my own that I just celebrated my one year podcast anniversary this past weekend. So that's exciting and pretty much sums it up Well.

Speaker 1: 3:05

Congratulations on your one year anniversary. That's so exciting. I have to just say I can relate to you being a single mom because I was in that arena for a period of time and that is so challenging and I know there's a lot of people that go through their life and they never expect that they will be a single mom, but then they end up being a single mom and for most of us including myself, I would say, when that happened it was kind of like a moment where I couldn't even catch my breath because it just felt like my world was spinning out of control. And that is so hard because it's like you've got these other people that you're responsible for and you're in uncharted water, and it is terrifying.

Speaker 2: 4:03

Yeah, it can be, that's for sure. And I mean, there's no handbook, even though people write them for being a parent, but there really isn't any book that you can read that fully prepares you for being a parent. And then when you are a single parent, like you said, everything falls on me. I don't get a break when I'm sick. I still have to be mom. There's no breaks. I mean, obviously it's a little bit easier now because my son is a teenager, but there's still some times that I'm like boy, it would be nice to not have to do X, y or Z.

Speaker 1: 4:43

Yeah, what would be your advice to women that are single moms and are going through this stage of life?

Speaker 2: 4:54

I think the one thing that they need to remember and I mean it's hard, because I even have a hard time with it myself, but is to make time for yourself. And that can be hard when you're a single parent and it can be really hard if you don't have support. But even if it's something little like after the kid, you put your kid to bed at night, sit down and read a book for a few minutes, watch your favorite TV show, listen to music, take a bath something that you can just do for yourself. A lot of times people try to make moms feel guilty for doing things for themselves, and they shouldn't feel guilty about that. So that would be my message to single moms, for sure.

Speaker 1: 5:41

I met someone in my journey during my single motherhood and she said to me because I think she could tell you know, I was just really feeling overwhelmed and just had so many plates in the air and trying to figure things out. And she said to me take 20 minutes every day for yourself. And immediately my immediate response was where am I going to find 20 minutes? I don't have 20 minutes in my day. To your point, you're constantly on, like you're constantly on and if you're working, you're working your job, and it's like you don't even have a moment, because then you're literally it's like that gate switches and now you're all over again, constantly on. So you just go from the work into you know this other life with your children. But she said to me, she said, even if you just take that shower and use that showering time or bathing time where they know you're in the shower, they know that that is your time that you just use that time just to get into a space of gratitude, and the more that you can get into that space of gratitude, the more you can lift your energy field up and you can live that vibrational energy.

Speaker 1: 7:08

And I never forgot that and that was something that I always made a promise to myself, if I met another person that was going through something like that, that I would share that information with them, because I feel like we hear this but we forget and we need the reminder, we need to be told. Because we do, we forget because we're always putting ourselves last. Yes, we are, and everybody else is ahead of us, and you're. You're doing that even more so, I mean with teenagers. That is such a tough time, really tough time, so how are you managing those years?

Speaker 2: 7:54

One day at a time. Is that the answer to that question? I mean, it's, it's a lot, and I think it's a little more complicated because I have a son and you know he's a boy, I'm a girl, so there's a lot of things that are different about you know him being a teenager than when I was a teenager, and even just you know the time in general. Things are so different now from you know when I was in high school and now he's in high school and, yeah, I mean it really is one day at a time and giving myself grace when I need to, because some days are harder than other days. And you know, I think sometimes I tell people this, I won't tell my parents this, but I tell people that there's certain things that happen occasionally and I'll be like, oh, that's what my parents were talking about, but all of those things that they used to say to me when I was a teenager, I'm like, oh, yeah, no, I get it but yeah, I mean it.

Speaker 1: 9:05

It is a funny time because, like on one level, they're pushing their boundaries to see how independent they can be with you, but then they're still not in that independent state where they can take care of themselves, so they still rely on you. So it is this weird kind of place. And then then you have the whole developmental aspect of the brain where they're still childlike in some senses because they're forgetful, they don't remember things, and then you know it's like you tell them something and they completely don't even remember that you told them and that can be frustrating and you know it does make it very challenging. But it is something that I think again, you know, just getting back into a space of gratitude and grace and just being gentle and compassionate with both of you is like something that is not easy, but you have to to get your footing and realize, like you said, there is no handbook, but it's okay.

Speaker 1: 10:17

But what do you do when you're really frazzled, like what do you? What is your go to? How do you move through that?

Speaker 2: 10:25

I mean, sometimes I cry Because you know the stress can be a lot sometimes. So you know I do that but I have a really good support system. You know, my friends, my family, I have a therapist who is amazing and I have learned to utilize my support system. You know I really I really try hard to do those things for myself on might not be every day, but you know I have little things that I do every few weeks or once a month that are for me because I need them, you know, to to nourish myself and my soul and everything.

Speaker 1: 11:10

So yeah, yeah, and that's so important because we all need that support and I can't express enough that parents that don't have that support, they do struggle harder. So you do need you know, as I say, it takes a village and it's not just a village to raise a child. Everyone needs everyone.

Speaker 1: 11:33

So it really does take a village and if you don't have support, look for that support because there's so many resources available, and just take that time to reach out for help, especially if you really are feeling like you're struggling and you just don't know what else to do. I mean, there's so many resources, just reach out for that help. I mean, I could write a whole book about that single parenting aspect, but it is a challenging time and I commend all of everyone who's doing it and just really offer love and support to everyone who's listening that's doing it and just really get within yourself to find what works for you and find that support for you as well. But the thing that astounds me about you, jessica, is like not only are you the single mom to your son, but then you extend your soul to this whole other arena of people, with your social services and working with the homeless, and I feel like this is a topic that people don't really talk about and, I have to be honest, it's one that I find is very hard, because I feel like most people are uncomfortable with talking about it, which is why I'm really excited that you're on the show, because we can put a lens on this particular topic and allow people some insight into what this looks like and this arena of people that are living like this and have some more understanding around it.

Speaker 1: 13:27

Because I think most people they have awareness of homelessness but they don't really have the understanding of the added layer behind it and for some people it could be that they're afraid. For some people it could be that they it could be fear. Like I said, they're afraid. But I also feel like some people just don't want to have anything to do with it. But they do have these other people that are like they're just all in, they just go, they help, they do whatever they can. And then you have people in the middle. It's like they're kind of you know, not sure what they can do or how they can help. So I really appreciate you being here and I have so much gratitude that we can have this conversation because I feel like it's so important. So let's start from the beginning. How did you make this a passion and how did you get into this? Like, where did this come from?

Speaker 2: 14:33

So I went to college for psychology. That was my major in college and when I started college I really had no idea what I wanted to do Like no clue what I wanted to do. But I had gotten my bachelor's and my first job after I graduated college was in a group home for juvenile delinquents and from there I went to a psychiatric center and then I went to one of their residential facilities and then from there I went to the county where initially I was working in child protective services and I did that for 11 years, and then where I live, you can you take like the civil service exam. So I had taken that test for to become a senior caseworker and then I ended up there was an opening in one of the other buildings to work in the homeless unit and when I initially took that job I didn't really know like what, what that job entailed.

Speaker 2: 15:44

But I kind of always been in like the helping arena of you know, of you know wanting to help other people and you know this falls right in line with that. So it's I really do, I do like helping people, I like making a difference. You know, even if it, even if you don't always see it, you know there are, because it's difficult. You know you don't have a lot of victories working in this field, but there are those few and like when those happen, it's like okay, this is why I'm doing this.

Speaker 1: 16:24

And did you know anyone personally that ever went through homelessness that kind of pushed your decision in that direction?

Speaker 2: 16:36

I don't think, at the time that I took the position, that I personally knew anyone that not that comes to mind anyway.

Speaker 1: 16:47

So it's interesting that you were guided into this and this was part of you know what you were going to do and how you were helping people. So for the audience listening and everyone, can you share a little bit of some of your experiences and some of the things that could help educate? You? Know awareness around homelessness and how people get into homelessness.

Speaker 2: 17:17

So I mean there's there's a whole bunch of different reasons why people end up homeless. You know there's mental health issues, alcohol and substance abuse issues, those are. I mean those are some of the big ones. Then you know you have people who you know mismanage their resources and they get evicted and then they're stuck in that psychical homelessness, you know, because then they're put in a situation where they don't have anywhere to live and you know they're being sheltered.

Speaker 2: 17:50

And I think one of the things that I really have learned over the years is for people that are listening to understand is you. You don't always realize that like, that could be you. Literally anything could happen in the blink of an eye and that could be you in that position. You know you could have a house fire, you could have a flood, you know. Or it could be a tornado or an earthquake. You know you could lose your job unexpectedly and then all of a sudden not have funds to pay your bills and to pay your rent or your mortgage. So I mean, sometimes people don't realize that and it's, it's. They have the mentality that like, oh, it'll never happen to me, you know, I don't have to be worried about it. But I think it's important for people to understand that, like it can, it can happen to you, it can happen to anybody and you know you're no better or worse than someone who is in that type of situation because they didn't ask to be there, you know? I mean, nobody wants to be homeless, so yeah.

Speaker 1: 19:03

I appreciate you sharing that because I feel like that is so important for people to really understand. And I remember when my children were young and we were in a situation where we're living off of one income and I had prepared I've shared this story before, so my loyal listeners have already heard it and I'm sorry, but I'm sharing it for everybody else but I had prepared a Christmas meal and it was in the freezer and the in-laws were coming from out of state and we had all these people and we lived off a one income. We had a very, very tight budget and one of the kids opened the freezer and all of the food defrosted and was completely ruined. So everything that I prepared was completely gone. And I just remember that mom moment where the reality hit and I was like, oh my goodness, I've spent hours and hours and hours preparing all of this food and none of it can be served, none of it can be used. We are in a tight income. We didn't have additional resources to go and recreate everything.

Speaker 1: 20:22

I did never mind the time to recreate all that because literally we were a couple of days and I called the homeowners insurance and I just asked them about my insurance policy, if there was anything we could do.

Speaker 1: 20:39

And the woman on the other line she says well, you'd have to pay your deductible, which the deductible, as we know, is usually $500 or $1000. And again it was like another situation where it was like well, this puts us in hardship, right? So literally I get a phone call the next day and asked if I was going to be home and I said yes, and she gave me a clock I think it was like two o'clock and literally these women from that office collected all of this food and brought it over to our house and delivered it. Now, it wouldn't.

Speaker 1: 21:26

It wasn't exactly what I prepared, but I mean but it was something that was enough to feed everybody and it was. You know, my gratitude was through the roof, Like I just broke down crying when I opened up the door because I was like, oh my goodness, I can't believe that somebody would be so kind to do something so nice.

Speaker 2: 21:48

And.

Speaker 1: 21:49

I remember when I was tucking my son in that night and he was small and he just said, mom, you're so lucky. And I said, why is that? And he said because you got to hug one of Santa's elves, you know like. And I just I was like, oh my gosh, like what a teachable moment. And at the time I wasn't even looking at it as a teachable moment, but it was a teachable moment and it just was really a profound life lesson for, like all of us, and ever since I mean, I've always been very much an advocate of helping community and volunteering, but ever since then it also was something my kids were, you know, thinking about too. They wanted to participate because they understood the value of giving back.

Speaker 2: 22:46

And.

Speaker 1: 22:46

I, you know, I'd said to them so many times that the way we give back and look a variety of ways, there's so many different ways that you can do that, and one way is not necessarily right or wrong. It's what you're comfortable doing. But the fact that you're doing it is what is important, and the fact that most people, like you said, are one step away from being in a situation like that and they don't even realize it is so spot on and so like it really does hit home and it really is the truth, yeah. So I would just encourage everyone to really think about that for a moment you know, so these individuals that you're working with, are they?

Speaker 1: 23:43

are they people that are classified in one of these buckets for you, or is it just across the board?

Speaker 2: 23:50

I mean it's across the board. We, you know there's all sorts of different reasons. You know why the individuals that we work with and the families that we work with are homeless. Yeah, I mean any. I think you can probably check any box and you know there's someone that falls into that category.

Speaker 1: 24:09

Now there's a lot of people that I feel have a sense of fear around, people that are homeless, and again I think it comes from a place of lack of understanding, absolutely. So help me understand how someone can get comfortable with I guess you know a little bit of insight that you can offer to them that gives them a different perspective and not being so fearful.

Speaker 2: 24:44

The first thing that just popped into my head was to volunteer at maybe one of your local homeless shelters. You know there's places in our community that they do. You can volunteer, you can they do community meals. You can go help serve a meal. Interact with people who are in a different situation than you and you will realize that there's nothing to be afraid of. Like their people, just like you are.

Speaker 2: 25:11

They're not, you know, they're not scary, you know and and some of them have pretty incredible stories to share They've been through some things that you know, you you could not even imagine. And you know sitting down and talking with people. It's, it's an amazing experience that I've learned that, not just through my job but through, you know, through my own podcast, through listening to you know people that I've met just out in the community. You learn a lot about someone by just listening to them and a lot of people don't know how to listen because they they hear you to respond. But it really is a powerful tool when you can just sit and listen to someone talk. You don't have to say anything.

Speaker 2: 26:06

Just listen and you know you, you can learn so much and you know, in this particular situation you would really be able to to understand that there's nothing to be afraid of.

Speaker 1: 26:17

Yeah, and I think the message of volunteering is so important, and it's not just at the holidays, it's not just when the weather is cold, it's really something that's needed all year around all the time? Yep, it is. So when you were little, did you think this is what you were going to grow up and do?

Speaker 2: 26:49

No, no. I don't think working in this particular field ever crossed my mind when I was little.

Speaker 1: 27:01

No. What did you want to be when you grew up?

Speaker 2: 27:06

I can't remember when I was little like what I wanted to be, but I do know that when I was in college, like getting close to the end of college, I kind of wanted to do something in the criminal justice field, which I did eventually go back to school and get my masters in criminal justice. But the work that I do now is not really criminal justice related. But I've always been very interested in that area of the criminal justice. Even forensic psychology, that sort of stuff has always fascinated me. So that was kind of the direction I wanted to go in. But it just didn't quite happen that way.

Speaker 1: 27:48

But that's okay, but I feel like the direction that your life took was meant for you and is serving a purpose for you, and I mean it's just giving you so much purpose in such a profound way that maybe you wouldn't have had that kind of impact you know, taking that other road.

Speaker 1: 28:09

So it really is pretty incredible. And then, what would you tell your younger self like if you were looking back? Is there any advice that you would give her? I mean, you're a single mom, you know, working in this field. Is there anything that you would have said to her like?

Speaker 2: 28:30

Not to give up because she is stronger and braver than she realizes.

Speaker 1: 28:38

And where is that coming from?

Speaker 2: 28:41

That's coming from experiences that I've gone through that have made me realize now just how strong and brave I actually am, and I don't think I realized that when I was younger. But you know, learning and growing and experiencing life lessons some really, really tough life lessons have made me realize that I am a lot stronger than I thought I was back then. Can you share one of those.

Speaker 2: 29:21

Well, one thing that again just popped into my head was after my son was born. I had really bad postpartum depression and that was a hard. It was hard, you know, having to admit that I was feeling that way, that I was feeling things that like I didn't know where those feelings were coming from, reaching out and getting help for that, you know I mean. And it was tough for many, many, many years when my son was little. So getting through that, you know I struggled. I was often on various types of medication and you know there were some days that were really hard. But I'm in a much, much different place now. You know I don't take medication anymore. No, you know, no shade to anybody that does, because that's sometimes what people need. It helps people, but I don't need it anymore and I'm grateful for that because you know again, I am where I am because of all of those you know ups and downs that I went through in that scenario.

Speaker 1: 30:46

Yeah, and I could tell how hard that was to share. So thank you for having the courage to do that. I know there's a lot of women that go through postpartum depression and it's interesting because, you know, there's almost a sense of shame that people feel about it and they really shouldn't feel that shame, no, but it is hard to tell someone not to feel that because when they're in it it's so heavy, like you've described. And you know you've got this baby that you're trying to take care of and, as women were brought up that we're supposed to be strong and we're supposed to be taking care of everybody else our family and this and that. And again, it's like you know it goes back to where we started about taking care of ourselves, and that's part of, I think, the piece that we have to learn right and getting grounded and taking the time to take care of ourselves even when we're in that darkness, right, yeah? So how did you get yourself out of this darkness?

Speaker 2: 31:59

So I about, I want to say it was probably like three years ago, which seems like a very long time to be in that that darkness. But I always tell people I and I mean if you, if you were someone who has known me for a long time, you you can see the kind of transformation that I used to be a very negative, angry person and I was. I was kind of always the person that was finding the bad in everything. And when my son's father and I ended our relationship, that was one of the kind of turning points for me in my life, that I switched things around and I was living life for me and for my son, of course, but I, I was starting to put myself first more than I was putting myself first. So that was, that was the one of the one of the moments.

Speaker 2: 33:09

And then another was I had a very close friend who passed away about six years ago and she, she was on hospice and she, like she knew, she knew that her time was coming to an end and she still woke up every day and found some reason to be happy.

Speaker 2: 33:37

She wasn't feeling sorry for herself, she wasn't you know why, me what, you know, none of that she was, she was positive and you know she, she is one of the driving forces behind why I look at life a little bit differently now, because her and I she was only like two weeks older than me and when our 40th birthdays rolled around, you know everyone my in my age was dreading turning 40. And I reminded them I was like you guys do you know where I had to celebrate Lisa's 40th birthday? At the cemetery. So every single birthday that I get to celebrate for the rest of my life is a blessing, because she doesn't get to celebrate birthdays anymore and there are so many other people who don't get to celebrate birthdays anymore. So I wake up every day grateful that I get to be here another day because, you know, not everybody, not everybody gets that. And you know, instead of living my life being negative and miserable and angry every day, I want to be happy and positive and find the joy and find the light and all of that.

Speaker 1: 35:02

I'm so sorry to hear of your friend's passing and I mean I don't have to tell you this, but you know that she's with you and she's always there with you. Does she show herself to you?

Speaker 2: 35:16

Yeah, I mean I still occasionally will like want to pick up the phone and call her. Her phone number is actually still saved in my phone. I can't bring myself to delete it, but in those moments I just talk to her. You know, I hear songs on the radio sometimes that remind me of her. You know, I see even like funny memes that I see on social media. Sometimes I'm like, oh that's so, lisa, so she definitely finds ways to let me know that she's still with me.

Speaker 1: 35:49

I love that. I really love that. A lot of people they question that and they think that you know they second guess those things and I share with people all the time. Please don't second guess that, because that is very real and it is a way of communicating and just talking with your loved one that has crossed over. They are very much an awareness of what you're experiencing and are connected to you and that energy field is still there, so they are there with you.

Speaker 1: 36:27

So I love that you're able to see that I've actually interviewed some really remarkable humans that have shared how they couldn't bring themselves to that place where they thought that that was actually true and then you know something really hard happened in their life and then now they see it with a different lens because now you know it was so profound in their face that it was unexplainable, but without any question meant for them, and you know it just it does.

Speaker 1: 37:05

It brings a lot of comfort and a lot of peace and and I you know I don't have to tell you because you know I mean she is, she is at peace and is okay now. So that's, you know that's a blessing. So wow, so some really, really deep stuff we've been talking about here, yeah, oh my goodness. So what would you say was your defining moment as far as you know your journey so far?

Speaker 2: 37:43

Oh, you know, I feel like hearing hearing people say that they're proud of me, which might sound a little self-centered now that I say it out loud, but, like I, when I was younger, I never felt like I ever was doing anything that made anybody proud. So when people say things like that, or they say, like you're an inspiration or you know, just like recognizing the growth that I have gone through kind of reminds me that I'm on the right path and I'm doing the right thing. And you know, this is, this is where I'm supposed to be and what I'm supposed to be doing.

Speaker 1: 38:33

I was going to ask you earlier and I actually pulled back because you know I was guided just hold off a minute. So you mentioned that you were that person who was very negative. Why were you so negative?

Speaker 2: 38:50

So growing up we first I don't know what, I don't really know why this was, but it was always I can remember my dad specifically saying like if something bad is going to happen, it's going to happen to us. It was always that like if we didn't have bad luck we'd have no luck. It was that. It was that type of thing and I feel like that was ingrained in my head for so long that like bad things were happening because I was thinking that all the time. So like when I was able to step out of that and start thinking positively and looking at the positive side of things, it drew in more positive and more good and you know that helped make that switch. So I mean, I can't think of like a particular situation, it was just I just remember, you know, remember those phrases from my dad. Like you know, growing up that that it was, it was all bad.

Speaker 1: 39:59

Why would he say that, though? Was that something that was true for him, or where did that come from?

Speaker 2: 40:07

To think of like situations when I would hear him say it, um, and I can't pinpoint any particular situation, but even, like you know, kind of like the snowball effect, like when one bad thing happens and then something else happens, and then something else happens, and he would just be like, well, this is, this is our luck, like that type of a thing.

Speaker 1: 40:27

so, so you just adopted it because that was the family belief system and it became a limiting belief. Yeah, essentially, and what's really profound, what's coming to me right now is how you talk about you're this negative person. So it's almost like you were set up when you had your son, that you were going to be in this dark space, right, because it was going to happen to you, right?

Speaker 1: 41:00

I know, and I didn't even think about that until you just said it and then and then that provided the springboard and the opportunity for you to make this total transformation and claim your rightful self, to be the person that you are meant to be, authentically, your true self.

Speaker 1: 41:21

Yeah, and just totally claim that and release everything that wasn't working for you and just be in your own space where you got to choose what was true for you and what was working for you and really resonated with your soul and I just see that through and through with our conversation.

Speaker 1: 41:43

You know whether it's your job, whether it's you know how you've created this journey up to this point in your life and it really is a beautiful unfolding of everything that you've put together to this point. It really is very beautiful and I just commend you so much for sharing this with the audience, because I think a lot of times people don't see the beautiful, profound effect of the unfolding when we go through difficult times, and it's when we're able to turn that inside out and share it with others and share the beauty and the gift that's in it, that it really becomes an aha moment. Like you know what this is okay, like if this didn't happen to me. This happened for me, this was a gift for me and it's a gift for me to use to help other people, so I just really really love that. I mean, do you see that with other things in your life as well?

Speaker 2: 42:54

I mean I do, and sometimes it's on a smaller scale, but then, you know, there are situations where it might be more profound. You know, I mean like I just think there's a woman that I work with. I love her to death and she's so funny because she's a little bit older than me and she always talks about like how she's so negative and I'm like so I try to like sprinkle my positivity around her and I mean she tries like when we're together, she, you know, she's like I'm gonna be positive and I'm gonna do this and I'm gonna do that, and like I feel like if I can even make somebody aware of of that thought process that's going on in their head, and like when they start to maybe get in that negative space, they're like, but wait, like how would Jessica react to this and then maybe help them navigate it a little bit differently than they?

Speaker 1: 43:54

would. Yeah, just changing their state even helps too, you know, just getting them to shift their state. And I think you know, especially with working with people in the beginning of the show I share. You know that our souls are what's permanent within us. It's, you know, these bodies are just vessels that we're traveling in, but the energy field of our soul, that's what, that's what's really permanent.

Speaker 1: 44:27

And that vibrational energy if you ever put a glass of water on a table and you stomp the floor, you see that rippling effect in the glass, that vibrational energy. Because our bodies are mostly water, we have that same kind of effect. So if we're in a higher vibrational frequency, we're going to spread that out to other humans and if we're in a lower vibrational energy field, the same thing. So what you're doing is very profound and it is something that more people I feel like, the more people that are have this awareness around it and really understand it can understand that, yes, like just you, going in and putting a smile on your face and having a higher vibrational energy in state can change a lot of people instantly and whether they like it or not, you know, sometimes people will try to fight you yeah like, why, like, why would you want to fight that?

Speaker 1: 45:31

because that's what makes you feel good. Like, let's be honest, yeah, you don't feel good being in lower vibrational energy.

Speaker 2: 45:39

No, no, and I was just saying to one of my friends the other day too, like I I mean everybody, let's be honest, everybody has bad days sometimes, like nobody is happy all day, every day. But I find now that when I start to notice that kind of like grumpy feeling, like I don't want to feel that way, I want, I want to get rid of it, like I don't want to hear anymore, so you know, I try to pinpoint like is there something going?

Speaker 2: 46:11

on it's making me feel this way, or is it just? Is it just one of those days, you know, because I I don't like feeling like that anymore, because I worked so hard to not feel that way anymore that even when, like the normal, feelings like that come in, I'm like I don't, I don't want you here, right right, so what?

Speaker 1: 46:32

what is your fastest way to shift out of that when you recognize it?

Speaker 2: 46:38

um, I try to remind myself of the things that I am grateful for and I find those. I find those things, those positive things, and you know, some days, if it's, if it's a really bad day, that might be harder than other days.

Speaker 1: 46:58

But I mean, the bottom line is, even in the darkest moments there is something to be grateful for absolutely, absolutely my first season, I did this incredible interview where this woman is a massage therapist and she had volunteered her time in a state hospital and I'll never forget the story. It really was so profound. But she had gone in as a volunteer to do massage. You know, therapy on some of these patients that were in the state hospital and obviously what this means is that the family members relinquished their loved ones to the state.

Speaker 1: 47:41

And this one particular patient, I believe she was in her like maybe late 20s, early 30s, something like that but she didn't have full mobility of her body and she wasn't like.

Speaker 1: 47:57

She literally laid on a bed all day and she didn't have this mobility and she could only see out of one eye and she couldn't move her body.

Speaker 1: 48:08

So if you think about this, her whole world is looking through this one eye, which is basically like if you were to cover one of your eyes and just lay, you know wherever you are in, just whatever is in your vision, that's your world, right, and when you put things in perspective, like the fact that you can do things and maybe not have full ability to do everything because there's people listening and I totally respect this you may not have the full ability to do all things, but for most people they can do more than just look through. One eye, like this woman, can even talk. She didn't even have the ability to talk. So most of us have the ability to do more than that and I think when you put it in perspective and you do go into that space of gratitude, that is like wow, you know like things could be so much worse yeah, yeah, yeah, and that's exactly what I was thinking as you were saying that, like, things always can be worse, so you have to.

Speaker 2: 49:24

You have to remind yourself of that from time to time, because, while what you're experiencing may be bad, things could be a lot worse than what's going on, right?

Speaker 1: 49:37

right, and I think that's where we get our perspective, because if we can understand that, then all of a sudden we're shifted because it's like, okay, I can have gratitude that I do have the ability to be able to go outside and go for a walk or be able to feed myself, or you know, there I mean, the list is long, like where? Long, yeah, but it is, it's very profound. So I love that you shift gears with gratitude and you'll probably never forget the story now that I shared it.

Speaker 1: 50:12

Oh, I won't but it also brings me back to what you said earlier about how people are a moment away from being homeless, like again.

Speaker 1: 50:22

You know it's understanding that we are fragile in a lot of ways yeah we really are, but at the same time we're very strong yeah we're very strong and I just encourage everyone to resume on your strengths and really build off of those and continue to build off of those and continue to get yourself into a higher state of joy and peace and love and light, because those are the places that we truly feel the best within our soul. Yeah, we truly feel the best there, so I really encourage everyone to do that. Is there anything on your heart that you would like to share with the audience?

Speaker 2: 51:17

something that I I mean it kind of goes along with the theme of what. What we've been talking about it's just the power in being kind to each other. I feel like, especially in the last few years, we have just gotten so rotten towards one another and we need each other, all of us, like every single one of us, like none of us could get through this life by ourselves. You know, even the strongest, most independent people need someone sometimes, and it's okay to need someone.

Speaker 1: 51:57

But I mean, I really do think that there is, there is so much power in in being kind yeah, I appreciate you saying that it is something that we hear it but we really don't allow it to sink in, and I feel that there's a lot of people that just they very much are kind because that's who they are in their core self. But then we do have a lot of people that are walking the planet and are kind of towing the line. Yeah, that makes sense and I think we really do have to be in a broader scope of awareness of the impact on humanity globally. Yeah, where we do need to lock arms, we do need each other. We do need all of the villages of the world to embrace one another with love and kindness and have peace and compassion and empathy. And I mean, let's be honest, we're living in some crazy times yes, we were in a season of winter, but, as I always say, winter does not last there.

Speaker 1: 53:13

There does come, you know, the season of spring. How long winter will last, we don't know, but I can't imagine we're gonna continue in winter, for you know, too much longer. I mean, we've been in it for a while now, so I would hope that you know it's spring is coming soon, and that's the thing we have to remain hopeful. We have to remain in a space where we are giving hope, yeah, to each other, mm-hmm, because there's a lot of people that are losing that sense of hope, and I just encourage everyone to to just be an awareness that you know things do change and they will get better. Yeah, there was a time. There was a time, you know, where men and women would be in such fear because they used to ride a horse to get from place to place, and then this thing came along with wheels and you know engines like what is this?

Speaker 1: 54:16

and yeah, and I'm not promoting any such thing right now. All I'm saying is you know, just be mindful that generations, different generations, go through different things and it somehow corrects and it somehow gets better, and everyone just needs to be in that space of understanding that we will get there and it will get better, yeah. So, jessica, this has been so much fun and I have loved every second of it.

Speaker 1: 54:45

So thank you so much. And I do ask one last question of my guess, and I can't even believe like this time has just flown by if I were to pick up your earth angel feather off the ground, what would your message to the world be?

Speaker 2: 55:04

I think that it would be that even in the darkness you can find the light that is so true in so many ways.

Speaker 1: 55:20

Yeah, it makes me want to cry because I know I'm like holding back tears right now.

Speaker 2: 55:25

Yeah, what just happened?

Speaker 1: 55:26

but yeah it makes me want to cry because, like I mean, I personally can relate to this in so many ways, you know, just from a three year old little girl looking at the light under the closet door, and my mom, you know, put my brother and I in the closet like that, and if anything, you know, that's always been something that I've said to everyone that is in darkness is just to look for that late. So, like the fact that you use those words, it really kind of hit me hard.

Speaker 2: 56:01

So I know, when you told me that story and I didn't even, I wasn't even thinking about that when I just said it.

Speaker 1: 56:06

And now that you said it I'm like oh boy, yeah that's a big one, no, but it's so true, it's so true, and you know it is something that I feel, like everyone I mean people that know me, like they know, I'll go outside and I literally will look up to the sky and look up to the heavens and you know, even if it's a gray day, I'll look up to the sky, looking for that little spot of you know sunshine that's trying to peek through, but it just, yeah, just keep looking up, just keep looking towards the light. And couldn't have said it better. Jessica, thank you so much. Thank you, and for all of my guests, oh my gosh, this is Katherine Daniels, with Retreat to Peace, reminding you to live your authentic life with peace. And, as always, retreat to Peace and we'll see you next time. Have a great week, you.