Have you ever been told you're 'too sensitive'? Meet Barbara Shelton, a transformational coach, speaker, and author who knows all about it. Growing up, she was often labeled as overly sensitive. After suppressing her unique qualities to pursue a successful IT career, she experienced severe burnout. It was then that Barbara realized she was a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), and began to see her sensitivity as a strength and not a weakness.
We journey with Barbara, discussing the trials and triumphs of being an HSP. She offers insights into how HSPs interpret the world around them, and how they can leverage their empathetic and intuitive skills. Prepare to learn about strategies for self-care, handling overwhelm, and the potency of understanding one's sensitivity. Get ready to discover the power within adversity, and how it can serve as a catalyst for personal growth.
Barbara offers wisdom from her own experiences, underlining the importance of seeking help and stepping out from comfort zones to invite exciting new possibilities. We discuss the significance of protecting and embracing your sensitivity, living authentically, and staying alert to manipulation. Be motivated by Barbara's advice on staying true to yourself and progressing as an HSP. This conversation could be an enlightening turning point for you as it was for Barbara. So, tune in, join the conversation, and embrace your unique sensitivity!
Please visit us at: http://retreattopeace.com to find out more about the shows you love to listen to, the upcoming retreats we have planned and your favorite merchandise to help support those in need. Also, send us your testimonial of how the show or Catherine has helped you. We would love to share your story on the air.
Have you ever been told you're 'too sensitive'? Meet Barbara Shelton, a transformational coach, speaker, and author who knows all about it. Growing up, she was often labeled as overly sensitive. After suppressing her unique qualities to pursue a successful IT career, she experienced severe burnout. It was then that Barbara realized she was a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), and began to see her sensitivity as a strength and not a weakness.
We journey with Barbara, discussing the trials and triumphs of being an HSP. She offers insights into how HSPs interpret the world around them, and how they can leverage their empathetic and intuitive skills. Prepare to learn about strategies for self-care, handling overwhelm, and the potency of understanding one's sensitivity. Get ready to discover the power within adversity, and how it can serve as a catalyst for personal growth.
Barbara offers wisdom from her own experiences, underlining the importance of seeking help and stepping out from comfort zones to invite exciting new possibilities. We discuss the significance of protecting and embracing your sensitivity, living authentically, and staying alert to manipulation. Be motivated by Barbara's advice on staying true to yourself and progressing as an HSP. This conversation could be an enlightening turning point for you as it was for Barbara. So, tune in, join the conversation, and embrace your unique sensitivity!
Please visit us at: http://retreattopeace.com to find out more about the shows you love to listen to, the upcoming retreats we have planned and your favorite merchandise to help support those in need. Also, send us your testimonial of how the show or Catherine has helped you. We would love to share your story on the air.
Hey you, wherever you are in the world right now. Thank you so much for being here with me today. We know that we're living in some volatile times and we know that the world is changing. So let's create a bridge as we travel through one another's countries, removing all labels, coming together as one people, finding our home as one world, and as we do this, this is why our signature talk today how to Rise Up is so important. And today I'm super excited to welcome my guest speaker, Barbara Shelton. Hi, Barbara.
Speaker 2:Hi Catherine, thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 1:I'm so excited to have this talk with you today and I invite our audience just to settle in as we jump into this conversation. And Barbara is a coach and she actually is a transformational coach, a speaker and an author. She specializes in helping people who feel they don't fit in to be their authentic self, to find their unique voice and to connect with their soul's mission so they finally find their place in this world and their calling becomes their soulful, profitable business. So this is a lot to take, because I think this process is so hard to do. Right, to get into your alignment with your authentic self, your soul self. But let me ask you, how did you get to this space that you're actually doing this kind of coaching with people?
Speaker 2:Oh, that is an excellent question. And that obviously didn't happen from yesterday until today. It started already.
Speaker 2:When I was very young I got told by my parents and my teachers that I was too sensitive and that I needed to learn to grow a thicker skin, that I shouldn't take things so personally, that I should learn to let things go more. And in hearing those words I sort of create this image that I am not good enough the way I am, that people will not accept me if I am who I am. And in that moment I decide to suppress a really big part of myself and to survive all my powers of reasoning. So I suppressed the sensitive side, I suppressed the quirky side, I suppressed the weirdness that is me and that makes me unique. Because I thought that people wouldn't like me if I showed that to them and that they wouldn't want to be friends with me or didn't want to accept me. And that was at a very young age and that continued on through my middle school and high school. I got bullied a lot, I got picked on a lot, further reinforcing that people don't like me when I am myself and that there was something wrong with me. There was a time that I really seriously thought that there was something wrong with me. And if you then fast forward to when I was 32 and I was working in IT as a project manager, I was working a very difficult project and after months and months of stress and being at the tips of your toes and barely managing to keep everything in the air all the balls up my boyfriend of seven years suddenly ends our relationship. I didn't see it coming. There were no signs. He just gets up one evening and tells me you know, I'm done with this relationship and I want you to move out by the end of the week.
Speaker 2:And then everything came crashing down and I ended up in a severe burnout and all of a sudden was confronted with a lot of emotions and stuff I didn't know how to handle because I had suppressed most of my emotions for most of my life and in that burnout there was no way around it. I was exhausted, I was empty, I was crying nonstop and I didn't know anything anymore. I didn't know what was up, I didn't know what was down, I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how to get out of it. I was very disappointed in myself. I felt like I had let everybody down. I didn't see a way out.
Speaker 2:And it is in that time that I discovered that I am a highly sensitive person and I never knew that before. And the moment I found out and started to investigate what that meant for me but also in general, you know, it felt like I was coming home to myself. It opened up a whole new world of insight into myself, in discovering things about myself and understanding things about myself that I previously just didn't know and didn't understand. And that was the beginning of what I am doing right now. That was the beginning of getting to know my own user manual, knowing what makes me tick, knowing what high sensitivity means, especially for me. Also finding out that, besides highly sensitive, I am a lot more. I'm also highly gifted, I'm a high sensation seeker, I'm an extroverted introvert. Basically, I am what I say, that I help. I am an intuitive, ambitious alien. These moments were the start of what I do right now.
Speaker 2:In that period I discovered that about 20% of the world's population is highly sensitive. That means that we literally hear more, see more, smell more, feel more, taste more and experience more, but it also means that we get a lot more information. Then we process all that information on a much higher speed and also much, much deeper. That brings with it its own set of challenges. I discovered that the way into a burnout for a highly sensitive person is completely different than for a non-highly sensitive person, but also the way out of it is completely different. That was where I first started my entrepreneurial journey doing a lot for highly sensitive people with a burnout.
Speaker 2:The more I started working with highly sensitive people, the more highly sensitive people came into my practice. I discovered that most of us don't know that we are highly sensitive. The ones that do, about half don't want to call themselves highly sensitive and most of us don't want to be us. We have learned to put on masks a mask for when you are with friends, a mask for when you are with family, a mask for when you go to work, and we show the world all different versions of ourselves that we think that they want us to be or that we think that they will accept, want to be friends with, can love, and what usually happens is that we cannot keep up not being ourselves. So inevitably there comes a time when you hit rock bottom. You constantly are confronted with the same type of situation over and over again, until you come to realize that you cannot go on the way you are living, you cannot go on the way you are going and something needs to change. And that's where I come in.
Speaker 1:So, holy cow, that was a lot. Yeah, that's a lot. I mean, their journey has been incredible as far as the process, but I have to take a couple of steps back because I have some questions in regards to the people in the audience who don't know exactly what that means to be a highly sensitive person. I know that's a term that I think is relatively new as far as societal norms and people understanding what that means, especially for people that maybe are not in a space of understanding that intuitive factor or what energy really involves or what that means. So if you could just take a step back and just help the audience understand what a highly sensitive person means. I know you talked a little bit about having deeper feelings around things, but can you just pull back a little bit more into what that means exactly for someone who's highly sensitive?
Speaker 2:Yes, Well, the term highly sensitive was thought of by its founder, elaine Aaron, in the 1990s, so it's been around now for 30 years. She's done a lot of research in it and what I said? It's literally hearing more, feeling more, tasting more, smelling more, experiencing more, and then processing all that information on a much deeper level. That's the official explanation of what high sensitivity means, but in practice it means that we have this huge problem with injustice. Whenever we feel that something is being done to us or to someone we love, or to animals or children, the innocent, we feel very strongly and very passionately about it. We cannot handle injustice. That's one element of it. Another aspect of it is that we tend to be perfectionists, so we raise the bar really high, and especially for ourselves. So good is often not good enough, and we push ourselves to high standards. And we also love taking care of other people and we are so focused on other people and making their lives better and being there for other people that we tend to forget about ourselves and our own needs. So it's like what this tour does in the plane If the airplane goes down, you first need to put on your own oxygen mask before you can help somebody else. We are the people that completely forget about the oxygen mask and try to save as many people as we can, while dying ourselves in the process.
Speaker 2:If I put it crudely, that's basically what high sensitivity is and what high sensitivity people do. So it's a characteristic. It's the same characteristic as your hair color or your eye color. So I want to stress it's not a disease, it's not an inflection, it's not something you can get rid of. It's something that you are born with. That is hereditary. It comes from your parents. Either your father or your mother is the one that passed it down to you. Sometimes it skips a generation, so it can also be from your grandparents, but usually it's from your parents. In practice, many people find that they get overwhelmed very quickly, that they are exhausted, because you can imagine if so much more information is coming in, then that can also easily tire you and exhaust you if you don't know how to handle it. We can also take over other people's energy and emotions like they are our own and we can read between the lines. So when people are telling a story, we can actually intuitively feel what it is that they are not saying.
Speaker 1:How does that work, though? How does somebody intuitively have this energy transfer or have this extra ability, I guess, to feel this energy?
Speaker 2:Well, what they've discovered, because they did a lot of research into it, is that our nervous system is wired differently. So they put a highly sensitive person and a non-highly sensitive person on renammari. They showed them the same videos, photos and audio fragments. What they then see is that for the highly sensitive person, a lot more areas of the brain light up than for the non-highly sensitive person, and actually it's been something that's been around for ages. It was already there in cavemen area.
Speaker 2:It's also in the animal kingdom. You see it very much with animals that have a lookout. Those are the ones that sense danger, that are constantly looking and scouting to see if the rest of the group is still safe and if a predator is coming, and then they warn the rest of the group that danger is coming. So it's a very useful trait to have, not only in protecting the people that you're with, but it's also very useful for yourself, because it comes with its own set of well I like to call superpowers, in the form of infallible intuition and great empathy and the ability to form genuine human connections, for instance.
Speaker 1:That's really intriguing because you hear about people that are more adverse to going to, like haunted houses and things like that, and it's probably, you know, they probably can feel some of that energy, right that from the home and things like that, whereas other people they have no problem in just walking into that space and it doesn't affect them, they don't have any kind of association with it or anything like that. I actually am one of those people like you that I do have that ability to feel things and probably am a higher sensitive, you know, person in that sense because I will, my body, physically, will react if I am in the presence of somebody that is off I like to say quote, unquote, off because you know their energy level is maybe something that is not of a vibration of love or higher. It's probably something that is a lower vibration and has an association to some sort of something that isn't in the light of goodness, right. So it's not that my kids will share, you know, share with anybody that their mom needs to have happy in her life, because other than happy it's not working and I do feel the effects of that. So I totally can understand that. But as far as your and thank you for sharing a little bit more of a deeper dive with the MRI, because I didn't even know that. So that's really intriguing to me as far as that is concerned. But I find it interesting too because I know there's been a lot of studies around individuals who are very involved in religion and those particular people that do a lot of praying and a lot of prayer work with their religion. They actually are really sensitive people too, from my understanding. So I think that's an interesting connection as well, that you know there is this correlation there and people are, you know, they turn to religion a lot.
Speaker 1:So right now we're living in, you know, this really interesting time where the globe is just going through this adversity and there's a lot of psychological trauma, there's a lot of, you know, grief that's associated with it and people are really scared and they're unsure of, you know, what the future is and they're feeling anxious. So it's interesting because as we walk into the world today, it's like everybody is reacting in a different way and I know I'm seeing around me a lot of people just saying they feel this heaviness, they feel this strain, they feel like, you know, things are just evolving in such a way that it's difficult for them to kind of lighten up how they're feeling. So I can understand for highly sensitive people. This is probably a very draining time for a lot of people. What I mean, what advice do you have for that? Like, what advice do you have for those individuals who are just feeling the heaviness of the world and the environment and everything that's going on around them?
Speaker 2:That's also an excellent question. You know, a lot of highly sensitive people go into a profession that allows them to lead the people to a better place or a new world, or however you want to call it, and a lot of them call themselves star seats or light workers or dark workers, and we sense the changes in the universe and also the changes in the planet. And since COVID hit, a lot of people have been home and a lot of people have been anxious and scared, and we sense all this growing anxiety, this growing fear. That's much further than just the people around you. It's collective, it's worldwide and it can definitely feel very, very heavy. The energy can feel very heavy and that will do a lot, especially with sensitive people. It will do a lot with old people, but especially with sensitive people.
Speaker 2:So my advice would be to take really good care of yourself, because somewhere along the way, we've learned that when you take care of yourself, you're being egoistical, and that being egoistical is something undesirable, something bad. But I'm here to tell you that it's not the case. Something about yourself is essential, because you cannot pour from an empty cup. If you are not doing okay, you cannot help somebody else. So you need to think about your own needs first in order to be able to help other people, in order to be there for others, in order to lead others, to guide others or to do whatever is necessary. And then we come back to the airplane example, when the stewardess says you need to put on your own oxygen mask first, and that's literally what you need to do.
Speaker 2:You need to make sure that you can breathe, that you have enough energy, that you are motivated and that you are in the right mindset and with the right spirits. And if you are not in that mindset, not in that energy, then it will be very, very difficult, if not impossible, for you to help other people and to lead by example, because you're not giving the right example. So, take care of yourself. For me, that means that I spend a lot of time in nature. Nature is the thing that makes me replenish my energy, it makes me feel better. I walk a lot, I meditate a lot in nature or I just am in nature, and that does so many wonderful things for me. And if I cannot be in nature, then I meditate in my own house, because meditation and spiritual practice are both very important things, also to keep yourself grounded and to keep yourself present and to keep yourself motivated and energetic.
Speaker 1:Those are really great suggestions and I also would add another as far as just taking care of yourself, like just drinking a lot of water, making sure that you're releasing any toxins from your body that you can. I know being out in nature at least 10 minutes a day has a phenomenal effect on the body, but I know for myself. I love epsom salts, and just bathing in epsom salts to help release the toxins from the body is just so powerful. I think it's interesting too that in this moment in time, people are being forced to kind of go inward and look at their own spaces, as they may have lost their job and they're being forced to re-examine their life. So maybe they haven't lost their job and they're being forced to work from home and everybody is like collectively under one roof, whether you're homeschooling or working from home.
Speaker 1:There's a lot of changes that have occurred around the world and as people have been forced to go inward, it's really interesting that when you go into this space, people are also being forced to re-examine where they are. Are they living in a place that they are the authentic selves, right? Are they living in a space where they are being true to who it is that they are, whether it's their jobs, their careers, their relationships, could be even just how they've been conducting their life on a day-to-day basis and how they're treating people around them. So I think that this is something that people, as a highly sensitive person, they're actually being forced to. Additionally, turn inward and look at themselves, but then also asking the question what do I do going forward, how do I move forward and what is weighing me down? Because I think the weight probably feels even heavier because you're feeling the outside forces of the world, but then it's also your internal stuff. So what kind of advice do you have to offer for people that are feeling that?
Speaker 2:Well, you are spot on with what you're saying. Now is the time that we are being asked to re-examine ourselves, to look at where we are right now and how happy we are or how unhappy we are, and to make choices regarding our happiness and how we want to move forward in the future. So it is an excellent time to stop and take notice, to inventarize how you are doing, if you're happy in your job, because most people that I talk to are miserable in their job, and they are miserable in their job because they only think about the job as a means of paying their bills, instead of looking at it as a thing that fulfills your passion or your dream and something that really makes you happy. So I want to invite everybody that's listening to be brutally honest with themselves and to really look at themselves and their life and see what is working and what is not working, what is giving me energy and what is completely draining me of all my energy, and then, especially, look at the things that are draining you and come up with a way of banning those things from your life as much as possible.
Speaker 2:And if your job is draining you, then it might be a really excellent time to look at what else could you do or what is your calling, what is your purpose, why are you here, and what can Be a job or maybe start a business.
Speaker 2:If that's for you, that could actually benefit both you but also the world and the people around you in, for instance, leading by example. And if your Household chores are draining you, for instance, then maybe look at if it's possible to just hire someone to do that for you, so that you have more time to devote to proper self-care taking a bath, showering, go into a spa or Old that's maybe a bit more difficult right now with corona, but you get my drift doing something nice for yourself, even though maybe it be ordering a book online and Amazon, retreating in your favorite room with your essential oil diffuser in your favorite cup of tea, reading the entire afternoon in one of your favorite books. So now is the time to look at what is working for you and what is not working for you and take appropriate action.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I think this time, right now, I equate it to kind of like a butterfly, like we're in a cocoon state, and If you're doing the self-work and you're doing the inward stuff right now, on the other side, when the world opens back up, you're gonna spread your wings and you're gonna fly and it's gonna be such an amazing Flight, you know, when you fly, because you'll have done everything that you need to do and it will just be More in alignment with who you are and how you're operating in the space of the world. So I couldn't agree more with you. And you know it's interesting because you talk about this process that you went through personally, where you had this Relationship and someone literally said to you you have to be out in a week. I can't even imagine what that was like for you and what you had to go through during that moment in time.
Speaker 1:But it also reminds me that when we experience Uncomfortable things, especially things like that, how much it changes everything that's ahead, right. It changes the direction, it changes the course of where we're going in our lives, and I think it's so important for people to remember that, even though that this is an uncomfortable time, it's not forever and things are changing and it is uncomfortable, but allowing yourself to be in that space, knowing that it is going to get better and, just you know, understanding that it's going to be okay. So I know when you were in that moment, because somebody in our audience right now it's probably in a similar situation, or maybe they're not in exactly that situation, but maybe it's something a little bit more dire where there's, you know, abuse occurring or something like that. So when I Mean, what would your advice be to that person who's listening right now that you know is in a similar situation that you had been in?
Speaker 2:well, the best advice that I can give you is To not be afraid to ask for help. I see so many people in similar situations that have been taught by their parents probably that have learned that from their parents and they from their parents that you shouldn't air your dirty laundry, you shouldn't talk about what's going on and you need to Carry your burden by yourself. And that's not true. There are many, many more people out there that have similar situations, similar experiences that could be at least a listening ear, a shoulder to lean on, and maybe even have solutions that could help you if you need a place to live because your current situation has become unlivable due to abuse or other circumstances. When you share what's going on, then you also give other people the opportunity to share their home with you or To share another solution that would solve your housing issue for you, for instance.
Speaker 2:And that's just one example of the things that could come on your path if you would just open up and share. Because If people don't know what's going on and you keep everything inside, that's not only harmful for your health, because it will definitely harm your internal health and Eventually also your external health. But people cannot help you, so you are not alone, and please Talk to someone about it, even if it's just a stranger or someone you meet on a forum. But share your burden. You don't have to do it alone. I.
Speaker 1:Couldn't agree more, and I think a lot of times when people are in that situation, they are feeling ashamed or they're feeling a sense of Just fear, in the sense that they don't know what to do. So I I appreciate that message and giving permission to you know, open up that space and share it with other people. And I think also it's important for anyone listening to understand that you have to let go of certain things in your life to allow the new things to come in. So sometimes these Opportunities that's what I call them, whenever you have adversities I call them opportunities because it is an opportunity to open up a new space and Inviting something else into your life that wouldn't have been there otherwise. You may not see it at the time, but yes, I think it's. It is that for you.
Speaker 2:When the door closes, a window always opens, and I've also learned and that took me a while, if I'm being honest, to learn this but I've also learned that things happen for a reason and when they happen, usually you don't understand why they're happening and you usually don't see the reason. But there comes a moment and it can be sooner, it can be later, but there will always come a moment when all of a sudden you realize oh, that is why it's happening. You know my burnout when it happens. I thought it was the worst thing ever, but if I look back on it now, it was maybe the best thing that has ever happened to me, because it was the catalyst I needed to start looking at myself, to start working on myself, to find my true, authentic self and To be able to do the work that I do right now, which I love to do, what I think would not have been possible had I not gone through it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and it's hard to surrender, to get into that space, I think, at times, until you're on your knees. Until you're on your knees and you have nowhere else to go, you don't surrender. So you, if you, if you practice the process of surrendering, understanding that Things are happening for a reason and it's for your good, it's not for your bad, it's for your good, that it's going to be okay, when you can fully surrender, in that it does make a difference. Yes, but how, how by how do we go in to this new space and really face it and like, how do we Incorporate tools to help us in this new space? I mean, I think you're a whole talk today about being a highly sensitive person. I think is so powerful. But you know, we all come with these scripts in our heads and we all come, as you said, with this Neurological system that's built in our body that we have to control of. How do we face it? How do we go into this new space and understanding that, okay, maybe we're highly sensitive. What now?
Speaker 2:Well, that's another excellent question. Um, for me it starts with what I already told you getting to know your own user manual really well. Finding out what makes you you. Finding out what high sensitivity means, especially for you personally, how that relates to the elements in your life, your job, your friends, your family, your partner. Find out what are your strengths, what are your weaknesses, what are your pitfalls, what gives you energy, what drains your energy. So, really really getting to know yourself on a very deep level. I think it starts with that, because then you will have a very strong foundation upon which you can build the rest of your life, your new career, your new friends, your new family it doesn't really matter. But you need that strong foundation that you get when you really really look at yourself and get to know yourself really well.
Speaker 1:And how do you address people who don't understand you? So I know I've experienced this personally where people have said, oh, you're too sensitive or oh, you're just taking things personally. And I used to. Until I understood myself better, I used to take it maybe personal because I didn't understand that. I did have a deeper sensitivity to what was happening. So how and I know what I do but how would you suggest to the audience, you know, something that could?
Speaker 2:come back. Right, I used to take it very personal as well, but it had to do with my own insecurity and my own lack of self-confidence. And now that I know who I am and I know my worth, if people call me too sensitive, or sometimes they call me direct, and it's because I don't like chit-chats, I like deep conversations, meaningful conversations, and if you ask me, does this look good on me? I say well, not really no, because that's the question you ask, and then they find that very direct. But I'm just being honest and that's the same with your question.
Speaker 2:You know you need to get to know yourself really well, and then what other people say and think about you becomes less and less important, because you know who you are, you know your value, you know what a wonderful, beautiful person you are and you feel confident and relaxed in your own skin. And the more confident and relaxed you are in your skin, the less other people have the power to hurt you, because what you need to understand is that other people don't hurt you. You allow them or what they say to hurt you, because it touches something inside of you that still needs to be healed. So as soon as you heal that part deep inside of you, then other people don't have that power anymore to heal you, because those words will not hurt you or touch you as they did before.
Speaker 1:That's so true, I mean, that's just so, so true.
Speaker 1:So I know for myself that was a process that I went through, probably like after, maybe in my 20s, I kind of went through that process and I think for a lot of young adults that's something that is difficult because they're going through a lot of changes and there's a lot of self discovery and there's a lot of learning about who they are and how they're showing up in the world and with societal norms of what's acceptable and what's not acceptable for someone who has a higher sensitivity level, they could be made to feel different and, with my upbringing being unconventional, the way that it was, it was interesting because I never felt like that.
Speaker 1:I actually always felt like you know what? I am unique, I am different and I'm supposed to be that way and it's okay, right. So for someone to say or to try to make another person feel different, I always thought that's something that they need to work on, because they haven't accepted themselves fully, understanding that they're their own unique person too and they have their own special qualities to bring into the world. So that was just me, but I know for most people it's not that way.
Speaker 2:But I think what you're describing is the way it should be, and it's not just people in their late teens. I was in my 30s when I struggled with this and my mother learned it from me, actually, and she was already in her 50s when she went through this whole period and 60s even end, 50s, beginning of 60s so it doesn't really matter what age you are when you are struggling with this. Know that you're not alone and know that at the end of the rainbow you do find that pot of gold.
Speaker 1:I couldn't agree more, and I would encourage anybody who is connecting to this conversation we're having today to also seek out other people that are in this space, because they're also a safe place to share what it is you're going through at different moments in time when maybe you're not being understood by someone who is not a highly sensitive person, so I encourage that as well. And is there any other tools or anything that maybe we missed in our conversation today that you'd like to add?
Speaker 2:But with regards to actual tools, there are a lot of things that I teach people in my practice, but it starts with breathing from your belly, making sure that you're grounded and getting to know yourself really well. Those are your main three components, and then after that, there are a lot of other things that you could teach or learn in forms of energy protection, energy release, stress management and so on, but I think proper breathing breathing from the belly, being grounded and staying grounded throughout the day and getting to know yourself really well are the first three things that you should pay attention to.
Speaker 1:Yeah and Barbara, how can people meet you?
Speaker 2:I am on most social medias on their HSP Coach Barbara and my website is HSPcoachbarbercom, so that would be the easiest.
Speaker 1:Yeah, thank you. And I have one last question for you. If I were to find your earth angel feather on the ground and picked it up, what would your message to the world be?
Speaker 2:Rise up and show yourself. That's beautiful.
Speaker 1:Makes me think of a bird.
Speaker 2:Yes, it's also described as spread your wings and fly, so that's very, very true. I love it.
Speaker 1:So thank you so so much for being a guest today. I have so much gratitude for sharing this space with me. I think your conversation today is so necessary in the world that we live in. I just know there's so many people out there that can resonate with our conversation and maybe discover something about themselves that maybe they didn't even know. You know, and it does validate what it is that they're experiencing. So, and not making them feel like, you know, ashamed or anything like that, it's perfectly okay, like you've been wired with this in your neurological system. It's okay.
Speaker 2:We're not weird, you're not strange and there are lots of people like you.
Speaker 1:Exactly, yeah, so I love that you're. You know that you're giving permission like that. I think it's wonderful. So I just want to thank you from your corner of the world in Netherlands to my corner of the world in the United States. Thank you so much again, Barbara, for being with me today. I just so so appreciate it, Thank you.
Speaker 2:Oh, it was my pleasure, catherine, and I love being with you and I loved our talk and thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 1:And we're back. This is Catherine Daniels, with Retreat to Peace, and I am so, so appreciative that you're spending this time with me each week as we share stories of everyday people from around the world, just sharing their unique insight to their journeys and how they've lived life and the tools that they've used to help them get through some really difficult times. As I speak with you today, I am so appreciative of the audience as it's growing, and I just know that there's so many inspirational people that I've had as guests on my show that hopefully you're feeling inspired by. I know Barbara's talk about being a highly sensitive person is something that a lot of people can relate to. I know for myself that's something that I always was very aware of within my own being but really didn't have a way to articulate it until I was much older, and I think that's true for most people. Most people, they go through their journey and they really don't feel that they fit in or they feel like they're different than other people because they are more sensitive as far as what it is that they are going through or experiencing, and I just invite you to really embrace that part of you because it is a very, very special part of you. I know for myself I have a very keen and a awareness of people around me and how their souls are as far as their energy level is concerned. So I try to be very aware and cognizant of who it is that I invite into my space and how I work in their spaces as well, because I do have to be protected of my energy.
Speaker 1:One of the things that Barbara had talked to was being a highly sensitive person. We get this from our parents, and one parent or another will be a highly sensitive individual. For myself, it was my mom. She was definitely a highly sensitive person. Everything she did, she did with her heart. Everything that she said, she said with her heart. Everything that she put into the world, you could feel a piece of her soul was attached to it, and I know that's something that I adopted from her, and the interesting thing about that is that I didn't even grow up with my mom. So to have that ability to be that way and then later find out that that's how she was, it was very intriguing and I hear often, especially with people who are adopted or people who have been estranged like I was with my mother, that they do have these unique quirks or abilities that are keenly tied to their parent, and I always find that very fascinating.
Speaker 1:One of the things that I wanted to just speak to today, around being a highly sensitive person, is how other people's energies can attach to us, and I know for myself. This is something that I have been feeling fiercely with everything that's going on in the way of the world. It's something that I have had to find a more cognizant way of protecting myself, and I didn't really understand that it was happening until I started talking to other people that are highly sensitive and they also had said that their energy has been less, they're eating less, they're definitely feeling more fatigue and a lot of their experience is definitely heightened as far as what's happening in the world today. So I wanted to just share with you some of the things that I'm doing to help protect myself. One of the things that I'm doing is just being very aware of how I'm spending each of my days, so I actually put into a calendar schedule with my phone where I get updates of reminders to remember to do basic things like remember to drink my water to detox my body, remember to do my breathing so when I do my breathing. I breathe, I take a deep breath in for four, hold it for four and then I release it for four and part of the release process, I also asked to release anything that is not of love and light attached to my body to be released as part of that. At the end of the day, one of the things that I've had to do too, especially if I've been around a lot of people that are having a lot of heavy energy attached to them is I have to use my epsom salts to detox and shield my body, to replenish and get restored.
Speaker 1:A lot of people aren't sleeping very well and a lot of that is just coming from a space of being in your authentic space as a light worker. You may feel this war that is happening between good versus evil, and you may actually be in a battle of good versus evil in your walk right now. If you were in this battle, I really strongly encourage you to use protection before you close your eyes at night and go to sleep. Find ways to use meditation with your higher power. Ask for your angels to come in and protect you while you sleep. Ask for guidance from God to help restore you through the night and protect you through the night, Because one of the things that we do hear people experiencing is that they are in this spiritual battle with other beings that are literally fighting against them, and it is spiritual warfare. So make sure that you're really paying attention to yourself, make sure that you're taking care of yourself, make sure that you're doing all the right things to live in your authentic state.
Speaker 1:I am always intrigued, too, that during our sleeping time, how many times we get woken up abruptly between the hours of 1 and 4 am, and a lot of times this is something that is happening to us deliberately, because we're being called by our higher power, by our guardian angels, whoever it is that's trying to message something to us. So if you're finding that this is happening to you, I highly encourage you to be very aware that something is at work that is trying to message something to you. For example, last night, I actually was awoken at 4 am abruptly. I was in a deep sleep and abruptly I was woken up at 4 am, and one of the things that I was messaged was that we have free will. God gives us our free will to make our decisions, to do the things that we're doing on a day-to-day basis.
Speaker 1:Now, some of us are walking through our life and may not be living in our authentic space as far as how we're conducting our life or how we're living our life, and it's really, really important that we are living in our truth. We're living in our truth in how we conduct ourselves. We're living in our truth in how we are as a soul being, so that we can put our head at our pillows each night, knowing that we are living our life authentically and not in a lie, because the lies, the distortions, the things that are draining us are only draining us from the good and the well-being of what it is that we can provide ourselves had we not placed that in our life and had we not released it. So it's really important that we release these things. So this sense of free will really is a directional pull of where it is that you're going in your journey and in your walk. So are you following the ways that are authentic and true to your authentic state and to your authentic self, or are you pulling against what is what is meant for you? Are you trying to make and manifest something working for you that is not in your highest good or your best interest. It's really, really important that we're very aware that we're working in a state of being in our highest good. So, as you do this, you do need to have the power and the awareness of how it affects you, how it affects others in your life, and you do want to create a space of peace and expression of power that you can literally call on your angels, your protectors, whoever it is that you use. You know God, whoever it may be, that you may use, and call upon them for your great strength, and call upon them to have the power to be kind, to have the gentleness, to have the compassion and the caring A lot of times, compassion, caring, gentleness this can be misconstrued as weakness in individuals, but in reality, this is a soft skill that does provide a lot of strength, and we want to use this strength in the highest possible good. But it's up to us to use our free will to make sure that it is in our highest good. So what can we do? You want to cultivate a lot of mercies in your dealing with other people, but also with yourself. You want to make sure that you have compassion for yourself and for others.
Speaker 1:When we are out of alignment. Maybe we've lost our way, we become uncomfortable and we don't know how to navigate through, and a lot of times this creates a lot of sense of restriction as far as what it is that we're trying to achieve and what we're trying to do, and a lot of times the results are not what we're intending or what we had planned for ourselves. So we do need to make sure that when we're in a situation, that we go with intention not with malice, but with the mercy and the grace that we should be living in, living in our authentic space, we need to proceed in a certain way and we need to use our wisdom so that we can avoid other situations. It's really important that we use our own guidance and let it lead us consciously, so that we can learn to not get stuck. We may be causing harm to others through our own unconsciousness, and it's important that we need to be aware that sometimes the way we're showing up in the world is causing harm to others and we need to take more accountability as far as what it is that we're doing. This could the suffering, this could be a karmic lesson from this or another lifetime, I don't know, but our soul is basically struggling to integrate, a lesson that needs to be learned and needs to be freed up so that we can continue to move on in our journey. Sometimes in our situations, we can hold on so tightly that we can't even see what it is that we're holding onto and where we're supposed to be going with a direction. So it's really important that we have this release.
Speaker 1:I would say that when we're in these times, it's really important that we recognize if we're in any kind of cycle of manipulation or if we're being manipulated. Is there anything that is unkind? Is there anything that is happening unconsciously? Look for these particular signs along the way to help guide you. If you need to journal, journal a lot of times, a lot of things will come out just through journaling. But pray for mercy, pray for your strength, pray for your situation to be disempowered and a release of any manipulation, a release of any fear, any struggling, any hurting or any suffering, anything that is not of the highest good for you. Ask for release of this from your life as you're guided through your journey. Acknowledge your spiritual gift, acknowledge living in your authentic space. Acknowledge that this is who you are and this is okay, to be where you are and have people around you that recognize this, who see you for who you are, that can love you and support you in your authentic space. Because those people, those are the people we call our tribe, those are the people we call our family, the people that we can be real with, authentic with, and don't have to be anything but so. That's really important that you're surrounding yourself with your authentic spiritual alignment of people.
Speaker 1:When your situation is not going right, do all that you can to undo any negative effects of what's already unfolded. Ask for spiritual assistance, ask for loving, respect, kindness and spiritual power. And then just take a moment to just be in meditation, close your eyes and be aware of your heart. Imagine a soft, glowing light in your heart space and follow your breath and just perceive that you're breathing in the most beautiful light that you can possibly breathe in. And allow this beautiful light just to hold in its space, hold in the space of your heart and, as you do this, just pray that it is cleaning and cleansing all of everything that is not serving you. Allow the healing to happen within, be ready, be aware, imagine yourself standing firmly on the ground and just take the time that you need to to allow everything of abundance to flow from you and live in your authentic space. It is so, so important that, as highly sensitive people, that we continue to live in abundance of peace, love, joy and happiness.
Speaker 1:I invite you to join me next week when my guest speaker, david Hellingsworth, comes to me in his talk about get out the door.
Speaker 1:It is about being in discernment, of getting motivated and moving in times that you find challenging and times that you don't feel like you have the energy. In these times that we're living in, I know things seem heavy and it is hard to be in our authentic state, so it is important that we use these tools to help us get moving and get out the door. So please join us next week. I hope you have an amazing, beautiful week ahead. I look forward to spending time with you next week and when we talk to David, but I also invite you to take a moment and write to me at retreat2peacellc at gmailcom. I will put you on a mailing list and if you're interested in joining any of our retreats, any of our classes, anything around spiritual healing, you will get notified. For all of that information. This is Catherine Daniels from Retreat to Peace, reminding you to live your authentic life in peace and, as always, retreat to peace. We'll see you next time geliyor Sesham.