Retreat to Peace
Retreat to Peace
Candace Winter on Optimizing Health: A Holistic Approach to Self-Care
How often do you prioritize self-care in your daily routine? Join me and our guest, Candace Winter, as we share insights on why self-care should be at the top of your list. Together, we unravel practical tools like adopting a morning routine, engaging in activities that uplift your soul, and having a diet that nourishes both body and mind. Destress your life with simple techniques such as meditation, exercise, and the all-important good night's sleep. Remember, it doesn’t have to be drastic changes; rather, small adjustments can be monumental for your mental health.
Food is not just about curbing hunger; it's also about feeding your brain and boosting your mood. Candace and I share our top nine foods that will not only delight your taste buds but also enhance brain health and reduce inflammation. Find out why a plate of colorful fruits and a mealtime within a 12-hour window can be a game-changer for your gut health. Moreover, we reveal how affirmations and controlled breathing can bring serenity back into your life.
As we conclude, we dive into the human connections we build and how they can affect your well-being. Candace shares her experiences in volunteering and the fulfillment she gained by being part of a like-minded community. She also highlights how good sleep habits and finding your 'why' can be the motivation you need to stick to a sleep routine. We culminate our talk on gratitude and collaboration, revealing how these can lead to peaceful retreats and humanitarian efforts. Listen in, be empowered, and make the first steps towards a healthier, happier you. Tune in and kick start your self-care journey today!
Please visit us at: http://retreattopeace.com to find out more about the shows you love to listen to, the upcoming retreats we have planned and your favorite merchandise to help support those in need. Also, send us your testimonial of how the show or Catherine has helped you. We would love to share your story on the air.
Hey you, wherever you are in the world right now. Thank you so much for being here with me. We know that we live in some volatile times and we know that the world is changing. So let's create a bridge as we travel through one another's countries, removing all the labels, coming together as one people finding our home in one world. And as we do this, this is why our signature talk today is so important. Grow through what you go through with self-care, and this will be a part two of our episode last time, so settle in as we jump right in.
Speaker 1:I'm so excited to again welcome my guest speaker, candace Winter.
Speaker 1:Hi, candace, hi, great to be here, thank you so much, and this topic is so, so important, so I'm so glad that we're getting back together again to address it.
Speaker 1:I know last time we talked a lot in generalalities in regards to how to take care of ourselves and we address different kinds of things, you know, just on a high level. But today I thought we would just take a deeper dive in having these conversations on what are some practical tools that people can actually use today that can help them to really dive in and get a better grasp on how to take care of themselves with self-care. So I know in our conversations offline, we've had some wonderful dialogue around some really great ideas and tools that I think is so powerful for the world to hear. So you're the perfect person to share this with the audience and I'm just really excited to get started. So I know last time we talked, like I said, in generalalities, so let's just get right into this and talk a little bit. You know again about this mind, body and spirit connection with self-care and, as we do this with our bodies, what are some tools that we can do that will help our bodies?
Speaker 2:Well, first of all, this is a topic that I am so passionate about. I believe that it is the way that we can conduct our lives with resilience and being able to manage stress with ease and not leaving things overwhelming. And, yes, as much as it's such a big topic, it's also so simple to do. You know, it's adding the little things in your life that will end up just leading into all other areas of your life. That will just make everything so much more manageable and easier and just simply take the stress out of stress. You know we can never remove stress, we can never stop it from coming, but there are just so many little things we can do to that will just make it all that much easier. So simple things that I've got you know, that you can do is your morning routine, which we can dive into a little bit more today finding something that would give you energy. You know people talk about finding their passion. You know nobody can find their passion. It is something that gives you energy from within, so you need to find something that you enjoy. A lot of people don't know what that is. Maybe it's dancing in your bedroom, maybe it is joining a book club or a sports club or something where you can find people who have a common interest to get excited about the same things that you do. That put the fire into your soul. Something as simple as that Eating and drinking for your health.
Speaker 2:You know the what you put into your body affects your mood so much. There is scientific evidence to back this up. And yet making small adjustments to what you eat can massively improve your mood, remove depression, give you energy. So instead of trying to survive on energy drinks and coffee and sweets and snacks, you can really find the energy that you're looking for. Journaling gratitude brings you so many good things, just writing three good things a day. I know I'm probably just spiraling out of control here, because I do. I'm just so on fire with this topic. But simply, you know, by having your gratitude you end up being more productive. It gives you confidence, it instills a sense of peace. You know and we can go further into how to do this Breathing. Breathing totally switches off all the stress signals in your body and it's something that's so simple to do.
Speaker 2:Confidence again what you choose to think about and what you choose to believe. The brain cannot decipher what's reality and what's not. So if you are saying little mantras to yourself every day, all day long, your brain actually begins to believe it and you will begin to believe what you're saying to yourself. We're so good at negative talk and we believe everything negative about ourselves. Why can we not convince ourselves to believe the good things about ourselves? It takes time, it takes work. Yes, we know about meditation. Clearing the mind really helps to expand and open the mind to receiving great ideas. It initializes creativity. It also, yet again, instills a sense of peace, because we're so used to thinking about so many things at once that when we try and clear our mind, we can really prioritize.
Speaker 2:Exercise, yes, exercise. Everybody knows you need to exercise. You need to get healthy, get fit. You need to know why. Why is it so essential for your mental health to do that? And it's not running a marathon, it's not suddenly becoming a bodybuilder, it's just doing something that is so easy to do. That will massively change how you feel about yourself.
Speaker 2:Spirituality, connections with other people, connection with friends nurturing friendship is hugely important for helping with depression. Sleep Sleep is so important, it has so many great benefits and I want to go into how to get a good sleep routine that you can again find sleep without pain, at least sleeping tablets and anything that's going to knock you out watching TV late at night or drinking alcohol to help you fall asleep, which eventually just wakes you up in the night, and it's just a spiral that can be changed. And if you just do little things we're not asking you to do these huge, massive changes, it's doing the smallest things that will eventually lead to better habits, because everything that we do in life is a habit and if we can change the negative habits that are not helping us, although we're doing them to help us you can just change how you feel.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and that's quite a list. I mean, right off the top, you rattled off, I think, about seven things. This is what the audience needs. Are these tools? So I just want to go back to where you started with the food.
Speaker 1:So I know, everybody knows this that what they put into their bodies is so important, because if you're eating junk, you're going to feel like junk. So if you're eating healthy, you're going to feel healthy. But I think it's important to remind people that what they do put into their bodies is really, really important. So, drinking a lot of water right now, just removing the toxins from our bodies, is so important, because when you're going through a very stressful time, you don't want to be taking in alcoholic beverages consistently and things like that, because you do want your body to be as strong as possible all the time, right? So, additional to that, are there any? So when you think of foods, like, are there any suggestions of foods that help maybe alleviate, you know, chronic, I don't know like things like illness or depression or different kinds of things? So if we could take a deeper dive into this topic, that would be great, okay.
Speaker 2:So first of all, I want to explain that your food directly affects your mood Okay, and not simply with what people expect, with the sugar highs and lows that you would get from eating sugary junk food. It's essentially you need to be eating food that stimulates good bacteria in your gut, because this bacteria ends up being related to your immune system, which is connected to your brain, which then gives you your mental health. Now there are certain when you eat sugar and alcohol and really high calorie but nutritionally deficient food, you are increasing the inflammation in your body. Now we're not talking about a swollen joint where there is proper inflammation. We're just talking about general inflammation where your body is out of sync, your levels are imbalanced and, as a result, your gut breaks down. It's got this membrane throughout your gut which is protective. It's almost it's tied into your immune system and when that membrane is broken down, it allows these substances into your gut which then affect your general health, increases inflammation.
Speaker 2:So when you're eating correctly, the proper foods, you're keeping your gut healthy, you are helping your good bacteria to flourish, which helps with your digestion, your immune system, and all of that and the wonderful side effect of all of that is that it put you in a good mood. So eating good foods is going to help to remove depression, which is obviously a massive, I would say pandemic that so many of us are experiencing at the moment. So I have a list of nine foods that are really important to include in your diet as much as you can. Fatty fish, obviously high in your omega-3s. These are essential fats that your body needs and it improves your brain's cell membrane fluidity, so it improves your brain development and the cell signal, the yeah, the signaling that goes through in your brain. That is why your omega-3s are so important. It really helps with the whole nervous system.
Speaker 1:Okay, can you? Can you have a supplement, and will that be okay, or does it have to be from fish?
Speaker 2:It is better to get it from fish. I mean, obviously, if there's no other way. If you ask the one of those people that, oh no, I don't eat fish and I will never contemplate eating fish, then yes, please do get supplements, but obviously proper, you know, clean food is the best thing to go for. I mean, everyone's different for me. Supplements I don't do supplements. I believe that your diet is is where everything should come from. But obviously there are brilliant supplements out there. If you you can't get your hands on them, so do what suits you. But omega-3s are very important and again, they're important for your you know your inflammation in your body.
Speaker 2:Funny enough, dark chocolate is another good mood boosting food to be taking in. It's got mood boosting compounds. It increases blood flow to the brain, it reduces inflammation, it improves your brain health and mood regulation. So who wouldn't want to eat dark chocolate? Now, I'm not talking about milk chocolate or white chocolate has to be dark chocolate. But at least you know again, it's a treat, but a healthy one. So you can kind of get your mind wrapped about that.
Speaker 2:One Another really important thing to be eating is fermented foods. They're very much your probiotics. So if you can get things into your diet like sauerkraut, kimchi I don't know if anyone has heard of kimchi before. It's basically fermented cabbage that would be very popular. People would eat it in South Korea. I was there last year and I practically looked on the stuff. Yogurt, kefir, kombucha all those things stimulate healthy bacteria in your gut which increase your serotonin levels. It improves your mood, reduces your stress response. It stimulates your appetite, your sexual drive. 90% of the body serotonin is produced from your butt microdial, microfire, I'm sorry. So it is really, really important to get those probiotics in your system.
Speaker 1:Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait Back up. Why did you just?
Speaker 2:say that Basically. You know when you have good bacteria in your body it has everything going on for you. So, yes, it improves your mood, it reduces your stress, it gives you good appetite control, it increases sexual drive and 90% of the body serotonin is produced in the gut. So it really pays to eat. I'm not a fan of sauerkraut and I'm trying to force myself to like it because I know now that health benefits outweigh the taste. But it's really an important thing to do and to take maybe a teaspoon of sauerkraut in your diet today, like for all the benefits, why not? You know, I agree with you.
Speaker 1:Okay, is it okay to put a little brown sugar on it or something like that, Just so you can taste it. You know, make it palatable.
Speaker 2:No, I mean, you know if you can, if you can hide it in your diet in any way that you know makes it more.
Speaker 2:I mean, yogurt's an easy way to get good bacteria into your diet, obviously, and antibiotics that's where antibiotics come in. You know, antibiotics definitely have their place in there Very necessary, but they are overprescribed and if you think about how it can really impact your healthy bacteria which is common knowledge, everyone knows that you know you've got to really make sure that you know you do need the antibiotics before we go and consume them. You know, I think sometimes we just go for antibiotics because you know it's the done thing and you know there's this fear of antibiotics losing their efficacy, you know. So, yes, again, you're going to be boosting your immune system if you're eating right, so that'll also, you know, ensure the less need of meeting antibiotics. So, yes, bananas Bananas are great mood shifters.
Speaker 2:They do have sugar which is going to give you energy. They've got vitamin B6 and fiber and they improve the mood. So if you need some mood boosting or some quick pick me up, bananas are a really good way to go. Oats are really good. They release a stable amount. You know they're sorry, I'm getting my words twisted here. They release sugar gradually. You don't have your up and downs, with your highs and your lows, and it decreases mood swings and irritability. So it's a really good thing to have in your diet.
Speaker 2:Berries they're antioxidants, they reduce inflammation, they're associated with improving depression and other mood disorders. So berries, strawberries, raspberries, blueberries, blackberries you know they really are essential in your diet. Oats and seeds they're brilliant. They have amino acids that help produce serotonin. So a handful of nuts a day, brilliant thing to have.
Speaker 2:Coffee Coffee increases your alertness and your attention, so you don't have that overwhelming fatigue where you want to go and reach for the sugar. It improves your neurotransmitters such as dopamine and norepinephrine. So it really is a good stimulant. Obviously not too much, everything in moderation. But having your one or two cups of coffee a day is actually helpful for your mood. Beans and lentils your vitamins simply helps with mood disorders, depression. So the most important thing is trying to get your rainbow of five fruits of each a day, Essentially if you can try and eat within a 12-hour window.
Speaker 2:So if you wake up at seven, have your breakfast at seven, but you finished eating by 7pm that evening, you do your gut a huge favor by giving it a break from food. That's where it repairs, it, restores it, improves your immune function, you know. So I don't want to call it fasting because it's not fasting, but if you can just eat your meals within a 12-hour window, again, you will massively improve the health of your gut and therefore your mood. Okay, what else can I say? Depression, you know they feel, has come and as a result of increased inflammation. So, even if you have a, they've discovered that if you have high inflammation levels in your body, antidepressants aren't going to work. You know you actually need your diet to be good Diets. Inflammation is affected by diet. Sleep, exercise, stress, lack of sun all of those can bring on excess inflammation.
Speaker 1:Yes, so let me ask you about inflamaitos. Tomatoes and eggplant All of those are inflammation foods that cause inflammation in the body and wheat and wheat, okay. So now would you recommend removing that from your diet, or is that something you should still keep in your diet, because I know there's a lot of benefits to tomatoes and peppers For me personally.
Speaker 2:I have arthritis that we spoke about last year and I have removed all of that from my diet. I don't eat any of those and, as a result, my body as well, you know. I have no pain anymore. I don't feel like I have the mood swings anymore. So, as much as I love tomatoes I really do love tomatoes it was hard to do, but now it's done and again being pain-free and having energy and being in a good mood and sleeping well. Yes, for me, yes, but that's a totally personal opinion. I don't eat sugar, I don't eat wheat. I do eat, drink coffee. Now, that is my weakness, I'm afraid, and that is something that I would like to still reduce and possibly get rid of out of my diet. But no, I would say, if you can remove those. It is hard the first couple of weeks, but again you will start to feel the health benefits and then you'll no longer crave it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I think it's just a process. You just kind of wean yourself from it, like you said, and takes a little bit of time.
Speaker 2:Exactly. Dairy and sugar is another thing. You know that I've cut out of my diet, so finding your calcium from other ingredients is very important, you know, for me.
Speaker 1:So where do you get calcium from? If you've removed dairy, Is that coming from yogurt? I mean where else?
Speaker 2:Well, yogurt is still dairy. So that is a supplement that I would take, because calcium is obviously very important. And spinach, you know I would eat a lot of spinach in my diet. So yeah, I actually don't have a perfect answer for you for that one, let me just see. So yeah, your green leafy vegetables, like I have, shakes smoothies should I say not shakes smoothies every day of kale and spinach, that is where I would get most of mine, obviously in your lentils and so on. Your beans, your pulses, your sardines. Sardines are also a very good source of calcium sorry, trying to find my words there Fortified cereals as well. You know they would have calcium in them. So cereals again, I wouldn't be, I wouldn't eat a lot of it, but it is in there. There are different ways other than dairy to get your calcium definitely.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and is there, is there anything else that you would suggest our audience to use, as far as anything with food or with supplements or anything like that, that can help, you know, boost their mood or the state that they're in, you know, if they're feeling off, or whatever. You know people are, people are all different, so I'm not sure, I think, I think, the recipe is different for everybody, but I do agree that your, your basic, foundational, you know, approach of taking care of the body is so, so important.
Speaker 2:But is there anything else that you would suggest I'm trying to think of any specific foods. I mean, funny enough, when I'm really eating comfort food I make myself a bowl of porridge and a banana. You know, and I do. I feel that lovely sense of satiation where my tummy feels warm and full and knowing that again it's, it's healthy. You know, I put some sunflower seeds in there, so it's got the crunch and it's got the sweetness and it's got the, the energy in it. That, for me, is my go-to comfort food. I know that sounds probably ridiculous.
Speaker 1:No, I love that.
Speaker 2:But it is because it's so gooey when you're eating it and it's warm and you just feel so full afterwards and it's. It's also such a good feeling of you know. Yeah, I, I went to a nice big bowl of porridge, but you don't feel like you've cheated yourself, you know. So, yeah, I don't know why that came to my head, but that is, that is what is coming to me. I, I love dark chocolate. I don't eat a lot of it and it really, you know, for anyone who does eat normal chocolate, you know how good you feel afterwards, where you've just indulged, but at the same time you don't get that massive drop after eating normal chocolate, you know. So you're gonna feel good and it's really rich. So the taste, you don't eat as much as you usually do with all the other chocolates. So, yeah, I would say, porridge and dark chocolate, yeah, Anyway, yes.
Speaker 1:No, I love it. So, the, so the, the body you know to give it, the good food is, is wonderful. Let's move into a little bit more around. You know this mind piece of it and the spirit piece of it as far as the self-care. So I know we talked about journaling. That was something that we talked about last time. I know last time we also talked about the breathing and just, you know counting the breath, you know counting in for four, holding it for four, you know expelling it for four, just taking that time to do the breathing One of the things you have to remind yourself.
Speaker 2:that's, that's something that's important, because we will forget to breathe. So you know, makes you know, look at your watch, or when you boil the kettle, or something like that that you just, whenever you do that particular action that you remember, oh, it's time to breathe, you know, and that will just keep you balanced throughout the day.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I, I love that technique because I just think it's so important. I don't think enough people do it often enough I talked a little bit about in the last segment around. You know when, when I would get upset about something my grandmother would say count to ten. You know, and I it is understated as far as you know how we need to do this breathing throughout the day not just when we're upset about something.
Speaker 1:So I really appreciate that message for the self-care because it is something that helps to release some of this anxiety or whatever it is that you're feeling with the stress. It just helps to get that out of the body, which is really important.
Speaker 2:And when you breathe, you give yourself time to think with your logical brain as a opposed to your emotional brain. So that is what's taking the time to do that. It's very, very important. So, absolutely, breathing is very important, yeah.
Speaker 1:And you talked about affirmations, and I think affirmations are so powerful. So, first thing in the morning, one of the things that I do is, before I even open my eyes I literally just talked about this in another segment Before I even open my eyes, I literally just say thank you. Those two words, thank you, oh, that's lovely, yeah, yeah. And the reason I do that is because when you say thank you, you're living in a space of gratitude, and having gratitude is so powerful and operating from that space is so powerful because you're not taking for granted the mere fact that you're alive or the gift that you have of today, because that's all we have is today. So you know, having affirmations to just remind ourselves that we are here today and in the present and we can train our brain to think a certain way because, as you said, our brain doesn't know reality versus what's not reality. So even asking the question is it true?
Speaker 1:Right now, I see so many people struggling and one of the questions I always find myself asking is is that true? And then trying to figure out whether or not it's true. And it could be that you know what I'm thinking isn't necessarily true, but it could be true to me, but it may not be true in the sense of being actually true, right. So just questioning that. But I think, as far as you know these affirmations just living in a space of being present, being in the here and now, and knowing that it's okay to be in this space however you show up. So if you're having a tough day, it's only a moment like it's going to be something that will pass right, but you can help yourself through it by giving yourself these positive affirmations that you know, simply like this.
Speaker 1:you can just tell yourself, like this is not going to be forever, you could tell yourself I will get to the other side of this, and part of this process is I have to be uncomfortable in this moment to get to the other side. That is so true.
Speaker 2:Funny enough, a while ago. Oh gosh, there's actually a number of things that I want to say here. A while ago I heard that life is a cycle, that everything comes in seasons and that when things are going well for you, you really need to enjoy it, because the time is going to come. When a storm is going to come into your life, it's not if it's when. And when the storm does come into your life, you have the comfort of knowing it's not going to last, that the good times are going to come again. And that, for me, just resonated with me because it made so much sense that we are always going to go through these cycles. We're always going to have times where we have wonderful, memorable moments, but then we're going to have times of tragedy and sadness. And the fact it makes you appreciate both, because you understand that when things are going well, you really need to savour the moment, celebrate, cherish, enjoy, make it memorable. But then, when the bad times come, you know it's not going to last forever. It may last a while, but not forever, and those good times will come again.
Speaker 2:And that, to me, just gave me that sense of you know I can cope, I can. It gave me resilience. It gave me an understanding that you know we all expect to lead these perfect lives, that there's never any trouble, there's never hassles, there's never sadness, there's never tragedy. That does not happen and when you can actually understand that everybody has their storm. It's just a part of life, you know, and when the good times are good, just love it. Don't be stressed about. When the bad times coming, live in that moment, because the bad times all gonna come. So the good times, so just whenever you're in each of those cycles, just be present.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and it's interesting because the whole world right now is experiencing the sense of it's a bad time, right, because our whole lives have been turned upside down, they've changed, and it's so important that, even though things are different, it doesn't have to be necessarily quote-unquote. A bad time Like it can be used as a time To go inward and do some healing work that maybe you have neglected to do your entire life because you were so busy running to that job or taking care of your kids, or Maybe just avoiding whatever it was that you didn't want to work on within your own space, right? So some of that could be. I just don't know what to do with my life. I don't know if I'm happy in my career or this relationship I'm in, or how I'm living my life. So maybe it's a time where it's not a bad time but a time to do the self-care, the self-work, the healing, so that when you're on the other side and things are Different, that you're showing up into the world, into into the space that you're your authentic self right?
Speaker 2:Well, that's exactly. Well. That's what I want to say as well Is that you know you could actually take this time to make the changes that you need to make and, funny enough, people Think that you need to be really motivated to make your goals, to Stick to your goals. It's actually been proven that the best time to Make your goals and have your motivation is well, basically, is when your motivation is non-existent. That is the time when you can actually ensure change. So it's not, you know, like a January when you feel like, right, I'm gonna quit alcohol and I'm gonna go and diet and I'm gonna hit the gym, and it's when you're down and broken. That is the time to make change, because that is where you it's Going to pleasure or trying to stay away from pain. That is where the motivation is and that's where you can actually make the changes.
Speaker 2:So this is actually the perfect time, where everything is so chaotic and everybody's lives. This is a time to really, as you say, figure out what you want in your life and what you don't want in your life and make changes. Feel like wait to make changes, tiny changes, not big changes. Tiny, tiny changes, which will then be the tiny stream that leads to the river that needs to the ocean. You know, um, yeah, I think it's all about perspective.
Speaker 2:It's all about point of view and if you can change your point of view about how you feel about COVID and how you feel about the impact of what's happened, think of it as also a seed of change. This is the opportunity that you can make changes in your life. You know and again, it may be difficult right now, but with when things, when you do the things that are hard I can't remember who said this, but I absolutely love this quote when you do the things in life that are hard, life becomes easy. When you do things that are easy, life becomes hard. So right now, you know, if people can make the changes, adopt new habits, we're gonna make their lives easier and be able to do it with.
Speaker 1:That's a that's a great quote. I've not heard that before, but that is a very, very powerful quote.
Speaker 2:It really is. I feel terrible that I can't remember who said this.
Speaker 1:No, that's okay. I mean, the fact that you're sharing it is wonderful, yeah, and I think part of just going inward to is, you know, to your point, it can be small, it can be very small as far as what it is that you want to bring your awareness to, but I think just showing up in more of an authentic space with not just yourself, but with everybody in your presence, right, so, as you go through your walk, not only just, you know, recognizing the small things, but taking that step back and really taking it in. So, instead of just rushing through everything, maybe actually pull back a little bit and be more present with the person that you're with, like really look them in the eye, literally listen to what they're saying, instead of allowing it to just skim through your mind and not really hear the words or take in what is behind, you know, as far as what it is that they're saying, strengthen your relationships. I mean, this is a moment where the relationships in everyone's life has been tested, in a sense, that you have not been able to spend time with people. So the time that you are spending even if it's, you know, through a zoom meeting, because a lot of families are getting together via zoom because they can't physically be together, but take the time to really spend quality, quality time.
Speaker 1:I think one of the the best and worst things that's ever happened to our society is technology. I Mean, if I think back a year ago, any public place I would go to, everybody was on their phones, everybody you would see small babies, children, adults, everybody, teenagers everybody was on their phones. But now it's been Put upon us that we need technology to connect with each other, but it's taken away the intimacy of actually having our relationships. So, if anything, allow yourself to be more present in the small things, and it doesn't matter what it is, just be more present and mindful of the small things.
Speaker 2:Is there anything else you'd want to add about that Again, well, you know they said, what you are talking about is the heart connection, the spirituality, and A huge, massive part of that is our connection to other people. That is who we stand for and that is what we spoke about last week. But they've really come to understand that connection is essential for depression and anxiety, and so physical friendships and Relationships that count for so much of our mental health. And yes, we do get tied up in our lives where we don't make the contact that we should. I mean, yes, we've got great friends but we just we don't bother, because we don't Intent not to bother, but we just get so caught up in our own lives. So if you can consciously every day just reach out to someone, if it's via text, if it's meeting for a cup of coffee, if it's going for a walk With that person and just speaking again, you will notice such a difference in your state of mind. You know, connection Brings on a kinder world, a more compassionate world, a more loving world. You know, and again, that is what we're all aiming for through this.
Speaker 2:So People come into your lives for certain reasons. You know, we don't always understand, but once they've left our lives they may not mean to be with us all the time They've served a purpose and it's really taking in that purpose when they're with us. And if you manage to have those lifetime long friends, nurture them because they are so essential. The memories, the cherished moments, you know, and that takes work. I can't even be aware, but Somewhere I've written about According to, how many hours you spend with a person just indicates of how close they are to you. Like, if you spend 10 hours with a person in your life, it's just an acquaintance. To have a good friend, you need to spend more than 200 hours with them, you know, and that is somebody who will become a lifelong friend. So it really shows that you have to put in that effort. And it's not effort because you're feeding yourself as well, you know you're not just looking after them. It's definitely two-way traffic.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I've never heard that study before. But I find that very interesting that it's 200 hours, because it just goes to show you that it is work and it does take time to build those relationships.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I've actually just found it. It's by Dr Ranjan Chatterjee. He has a whole lot to do about stressing the situation and your microbiome, with your health of your gut and so on, and he was the person that wrote that 50 hours is just a casual friend, 90 hours is a friend and 200 hours is a close friend. So it shows how much time we need to establish those really important relationships. Yeah, and it's making the effort to do that and, as again it's. He says a quote. He says you can't begin to know someone unless you breathe the same air as them. And I think that is a lovely thing to say because it shows that, yes, texting is grand, zooming is grand, but it actually takes being in the same room with them, in the same space. And that connection, that heart connection, is what feeds our soul, what makes the world go around.
Speaker 2:In my opinion, I would be lost without my friends. But I know there are people who don't have those close friendships. And you know what? If you don't have those close friendships, then find a hobby where there's like-minded people, whether that's a book club or volunteering for something. You know park runs, you know people running together in parks is another thing that's so essential for just putting you in a good mood. And if you're not a runner, then go and volunteer by handing out the water or whatever it is in those places that you're still with that mood, that environment. Because park runs are all about connection. They're not actually about just getting fit, it's about being in a like-minded community with one goal in mind, or two goals in mind. You know, meeting up with people as one is trying to get healthy at the same time. You know so if you don't have those super friends that you can just call on any time, get involved. Get involved with something that brings passion into your life and that will give you a heart and your spirituality the food that it needs.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I think volunteering is such a great way to really feel like you're serving the world but you're also doing something really good. It makes you feel so, so good. So I'm really glad you brought that up, because for me I know that's something I'm very passionate about is volunteering, and I think it's getting into the space that you connect to that really allows you to get that energy and want to be part of it and do for it.
Speaker 2:So it's actually a terrible thing to say because it's a selfish thing to do for you, because making you feel good, so you as much as you're helping others, it's, it's making you feel great and it gives you a sense of self-worth. And when you give to others, honestly, I don't know about you, but whenever I've done something nice for a friend or I volunteered, I I'm flying. You know, I feel so good about myself. I feel like I'm I'm purposeful, I'm being kind and, yeah, I'm being kind. People like me today. That's awesome.
Speaker 1:You know, not that we should give our lives and how people like you or not, but it just gives you a sense of meaning and a sense of purpose and performance really yeah, yeah, I love, I love all that and I know you talked about the meditation, of course exercise your connections and also sleep, and sleep, I think, is something that we probably should revisit, because a lot of people, when they're really, really stressed, they can't turn that inner loop in their brain off, because they're constantly reliving something that happened during the day, or maybe they're living in a place where they're uncertain of what's happening in the future and just trying to answer a whole bunch of questions that they may not have answers to. So what would be some advice around helping people to have self-care but also get the sleep that the body needs?
Speaker 2:okay, well, essentially, the first thing I want to say is that it's routine. You've got to establish a good sleep routine and that involves going to bed at the same time every night and waking up at the same time, and also having a night ritual where you are following the same steps every night that allow your body to realize that it's time to go to sleep. So, for instance, as I said, you know if you can not eat two hours before you go to bed, it's the first thing, because when your digestion and your digestive tract is empty, that's when the repairing can occur and sleep will come easier to you. Okay, limiting your screen time at night. You know if you can go flying at about seven o'clock at night, so your brain has time to switch off. Because with the screen time we have an exposure to blue light, and I'm sure a lot of people are starting to become aware of this. But blue light stops your production of a monocle, menotone, and menotone is basically your sleep hormone. Okay, so when you've got blue light, it thinks it's daylight, so it won't release it, so you won't fall asleep. If you cannot avoid staying away from screens and everything during night because your job depends on it, or whatever your reasons may be, then there's a suggestion that you can get blue light blocking glasses that will still allow you to produce the menotone but block out the rays that are causing the problem.
Speaker 2:If you are one of those people that like to watch TV to relax at night, ideally I would like to try and say try and do something else, like taking a hot bath, reading, journaling. You know, brain dumping, as we call it. You know, if you, if there are all those things that are on your mind, they're really concerning you, put them down on paper, get them out of your head, and that way you got to reduce the overwhelming sense of urgency. With them you'll be able to prioritize. But if you are a person who likes to watch TV and you need to put a light behind your TV, that will prevent eye strain and that will prevent headaches before you go to bed as well, and avoid stimulants before bedtime. So obviously, stop drinking coffee by four o'clock in the afternoon. That should be the last time you have a cup of coffee. Doing aerobic exercise during the day, even as little as 10 minutes a day can improve your sleep quality. So even maybe after your dinner, go out for a 10 minute walk.
Speaker 2:Being a nature, nature has I can't remember what they called something we're there for. Basically, every single part of nature has patterns that your brain recognizes, which the brain finds soon, which will immediately help you to relax when you go to bed and expose yourself to natural light every day. So at lunchtime or in the morning, just get out for 10 minutes just to expose yourself to the sunshine, because again that's gonna help with your vitamin D, it's gonna help with yours. So return and being released, so again that's gonna help you to sleep at night. And then having a bedtime routine where you have a warm bath or a shower, you stretch for maybe five minutes before you go to bed, you meditate your journal and you write down your successes of the day.
Speaker 2:I think that's a very important thing to do because, as much as the next day may feel overwhelming and you may feel anxious about what's gonna be done tomorrow and all the things that you have to do, write down your successes, because that's gonna give you a huge sense of accomplishment and relief. And so small things like I managed to have a five-minute conversation with my partner tonight. I got that task done at work. I cooked a great dinner. I got the washing done.
Speaker 2:Whatever it is, no matter how stupid it is, it's all those things that we never pack not backs for, and it's those little things that we need to celebrate our lives because you made the time and it was work. Everything's working. Juggling life as a juggle act. You know we're constantly juggling so much. So, yes, write down, and I think that is something I need to be doing more of myself. I'm great at the gratitude in the morning, not so great at success at night, and I'm really trying to teach myself to do that now. So those are little things that you can do. And one last thing is sleeping in a cool house of about 60 to 67 degrees. That is where you can attain optimum sleep, and that causes a lot of fights.
Speaker 2:Yes, that's why this is what some these heaters, language and beds and stuff are so brilliant, when there's two controls and one can be hot and one can be cold. Yeah, it does actually. Apparently, my temperature needs change according during the month. The next day I'm absolutely overheating and I need all the windows flung open. Drives my husband. Yeah, I agree with you those arguments, but if you can sleep in a cool room, you will get a better quality sleep.
Speaker 2:Avoiding alcohol before sleep is another essential thing, because as much as it makes you sleepy and jazzy, it is also a stimulant. So in the middle of the night it's gonna wake you up and that's gonna be you awake for the rest of the night, and then you're gonna wake up the next morning feeling groggy, tired. You're gonna have more caffeine throughout the day, which is then again, it's gonna cause a stimulant. You'll be all wired up from the day. Then you'll need more alcohol. So, yeah, just try. I'm not gonna say remove alcohol from your diet, because you know we all need certain things and we have behaviors for certain reasons, but if you can just reduce what you're doing in order to instill new good habits and something that we haven't really addressed yet, which I'd like to do it because it's finding your why and all of this. Yes, we've given you all these tools as to you know, things that you can do to help yourself feel more in control, feel more resilient to your everyday stresses. But instilling new good habits when the bad habits are easier to do.
Speaker 2:Why do you want to do them? Why are you wanting to instill this change? You need to look inside and find out what your trigger is and how you want to change it, and a lovely exercise is to ask yourself a question. What shall we ask ourselves, kathy Shall, we? Why do I want to sleep better? Maybe that's the question, considering we're talking about this topic, because, okay. So why do I want to sleep better? Because I want to be more productive in my work. Why do I want to be more productive in my work? Because I want to show my boss what I'm capable of? Why do I want to show my boss that I'm capable of doing something? Or because I want a promotion? Why do I want a promotion? Because I want to earn more for my kids. Why do I want to earn more for my kids? Because I want to give them the future they deserve Now, hell, that's a good reason to wake up and have a better sleep routine, isn't it?
Speaker 2:So if you can introspect like that to find out why you want to do something, you're more likely to stick to it. If you just think, right, I just want to sleep better, just because, well, I just want to sleep better, you're not going to stick to it. You're going to stay up late watching TV. You're going to have that bottle of wine before you go to bed. You're not going to journal. You're going to be going to bed with your mind actually buzzing with everything you've done today as well as everything you have to do tomorrow. You're not going to sleep well, but if you know why you want to do it, then you will make sure that you do.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's powerful right there, because it identifies your authentic space, your authentic self. And then what a greater freeing place to be than that, because that's you. So that's a wonderful place to be.
Speaker 2:You can ask yourself any question and you can really find out what your answer is. Write them down. Ask yourself the question seven times or five times, but keep asking it until you get to the real reason why you want to do something. And that is the way you'll stick to it. And whatever issues you have in life, you keep asking yourself why. Then you'll be able to find your answer and move on and you will stick to it. It's powerful. It's powerful to know your purpose of, why you want to work hard, why you want to earn more money, why you want to have a healthier body, why you want to have a healthy mind, why you want to instill good habits, why you want to progress in life. You will find the answer. Why not just a random statement of, yeah, I want to do better? It's good to know why, and a lot of us don't know our whys.
Speaker 1:We're really good and the beauty of knowing your whys. It allows you to plan for what's ahead, your future, so you can take, you can live in the present, but then you can also plan for your future by knowing your why, and that's a beautiful thing.
Speaker 2:So many people sleep all through life, so many people don't have a plan in their lives and I would even say about a year ago I was one of them. I just thought life was just you take a day by day, you try and do the best you can. Yes, you want to get the promotion, the job or you want to start a business, but I had no ultimate goals. I mean, my goals now are so pinpoint that I have specific days, that dates actually, that I want to have accomplished certain things. So getting a clear idea of what you want out of life is where you want out of life, and just make sure you get there.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, I. Everything about this particular segment has been so powerful because there's just so many things that the audience can take and use, like today, which is amazing because today is what you have. It's today, so being able to take something and feel less stress, just knowing that there's so many things that are ahead that you can plan for. And, yes, sometimes things are going to go wrong, and that's okay too, because that's just part of the process but having a positive mindset and having a direction and having a goal these things are all very key and instrumental, as well as the connectedness and as well, as you know, going inward and taking care of yourself and doing all of these things.
Speaker 1:The blessings that unfold are astounding when you start to implement change, and I think part of what people are so afraid of is what they don't know. And I would say to those people just trust, trust yourself, trust that you do have this and that you are your best friend as far as this process goes, and trust that it's going to be okay and as you go through these changes. It's going to be okay because on the other side of this, your life is just going to be more abundantly beautiful, living in a state of calm and with peace. So I think all of these tools are just so powerful. I can this and just you know talking through these tools for our audience. There's just so so much here and it's just so powerful. And I'll ask you again today I don't know if you have a different message, but if I were to pick up your earth angel feather off the ground, what would your message to the world be?
Speaker 2:Kind to yourself. Kindness starts with you, and we are the last people that we're kind to.
Speaker 1:Oh, my goodness, I felt that, I totally felt that, because that is so, so true, it's so true. So, thank you so much. And again, if the audience wants to connect with you, how can we reach you?
Speaker 2:Again, it's just www thriving dash with arthritis, sorry, thriving dash with dash arthritiscom. And they can email me at Candice, at thriving dash with dash arthritiscom.
Speaker 1:Thank you, thank you. I'm so filled with gratitude and I just I'm looking forward to having more conversations with you in the future, and you know, it's just been such a blessing. So, from this side of the world to your side of the world, so much gratitude and love, and thank you again for kicking off this retreat to peace international platform Just as a humanitarian effort to just try to wrap our arms around the world and help people that are really, you know, in a place of suffering or just need some guidance and reassurance and some help. So so much gratitude, candice, thank you.
Speaker 2:Well, I thank you so much and I've honestly loved every moment of this. I'm so passionate about this topic and, again, your efforts to bring relief to those who are really struggling at the moment is so amazing. I can't applaud you enough for what you do, and if there is anything else I can do where I can help, again, please don't hesitate to ask, because I would love to. It would be amazing.
Speaker 1:It definitely. I definitely see more collaboration in the future, for us for sure. Brilliant, so thank you. So that's all we have time for today. This is Catherine Daniels, with Retreat to Peace, reminding you to live your authentic life with peace, and we will see you next time and, as always, retreat to Peace.