Retreat to Peace
Retreat to Peace
Breaking Barriers: Alyssa Mortel's Mission to Demystify Chronic Illness
What does it truly mean to live with chronic illness? Join us as we explore this profound question with Alyssa Mortel, author of "Invisible Warriors." At 23, Alyssa was diagnosed with fibromyalgia, a condition that nearly broke her spirit but ultimately fueled her journey of resilience and hope. Discover how she transformed her personal struggles into a mission to foster empathy and understanding for those battling invisible illnesses.
On today's episode of "Retreat to Peace," Alyssa shares her heartfelt story and the motivations behind her book, which aims to demystify chronic illness for those who haven't experienced it. We discuss the spoon theory, a powerful metaphor for energy and fatigue, and the challenges Alyssa faced in helping her father understand her condition. Highlighting themes of self-worth and overcoming isolation, Alyssa's journey is a testament to the power of joy and academic pursuit even in the darkest of times.
We also delve into the emotional and psychological toll of chronic illness, especially in the context of COVID-19. Alyssa emphasizes the importance of mental health, the gut-brain connection, and the impact of social media on our well-being. Tune in for an inspiring conversation about breaking the cycle of isolation, embracing compassion, and living authentically despite life's challenges. Don't miss this opportunity to gain a deeper understanding of chronic illness and the strength of the human spirit.
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Welcome to Retreat to Peace. My name is Catherine Daniels and I am so excited that you found us today and that you're spending your time listening to the show. The show was founded in 2020, when the world was in a global pandemic and lockdown, and it became abundantly clear to me that people really needed a resource of being able to navigate their journey in life through the hardships, with tools that they may not have access to, and that other people could help inspire them to navigate their journey in such a way that we help them into an area where they have abundance and joy and being able to live authentically. And as we started to unravel this show, it became abundantly clear that really nothing is permanent except our souls. And as we were going country to country and creating a bridge around the world, it was also very clear that we really are one people living in our one home, which is this planet Earth.
Catherine Daniels:So as you listen to each of the guests' stories, as they share their journey with you, understand that it is a process of prayer that goes into each interview for the guidance of the Holy Spirit and how we navigate the interview, but also it's meant to really help each individual listening to have the opportunity to grow from it and be their best selves. So, with that said, I invite you to get your cup of tea or coffee, or whatever gives you comfort and joy, and that soft, cozy blanket or that safe space that you like to sit in and just settle in as we go through our interview today with our signature talk and for all of our interviews for Retreat to Peace. You can find them at https://catherinedaniels. com and I invite you just to settle in now as we get our signature talk started today. This is Catherine Daniels, with Retreat to to peace, and today I am super excited to introduce my dear friend, Alyssa Mortel hi. Alyssa, hi, I am excited to interview you today. We are actually on different parts of the country.
Catherine Daniels:I wish we were closer but we're not, but we have had the pleasure of really getting to know each other at some really amazing events and it was really on my heart to bring Alyssa on the show and introduce her to all of you around the world, because she has such an incredible spirit of love and light and really wants to help heal so many people, and I think you're really going to get that from her as we start to talk. But if you could, alyssa, just give the audience a little bit of insight as to who you are.
Alyssa Mortel:Well, as you said, my name is Alyssa Mortel and I'm an author of the book Invisible Warriors you can look it up right here and it's all about chronic illness and trying to understand more about what it's like to have chronic illness. About what it's like to have chronic illness there's no medical jargon, which I think has really been getting in the way of understanding each other when it comes to chronic illness, and that's what's been on my heart for so long. I'm a sufferer of chronic illness and I really wrote this book for my dad when he was trying to understand what was going on with me. When he was trying to understand what was going on with me and I really wanted to explain it to him and another one of my good friends who really wanted to understand more about what was happening with me as well. And I scoured the internet and libraries and other sources and I couldn't find anything that really made sense.
Alyssa Mortel:There was spoon theory. I don't know if you've ever heard of that, but it tries to explain fatigue using spoons, but it also explains mental disorders and things like that. And I caught my dad in the living room with like four spoons in his hand, looking at him and he's like okay, if this is mental, this is a depression, and this is tired fatigue, and this is this. And dad, give me the spoons. You don't understand um.
Catherine Daniels:I've not heard of spoon theory, but it sounds like exactly what you're saying. It sounds very complex and very complicated and really raw, like really kind of raw when you think about it it is.
Alyssa Mortel:It's really. It was hard to understand.
Catherine Daniels:I even struggle with it and I've got the disorder you know we can talk about that in just a minute, but I'm so glad that you're here because I really want to have the audience get to learn a little bit more about your story with your chronic illness and for the audience members that are listening, the book that Alyssa referenced is Invisible Warriors Living Strong with a Better Understanding of Chronic Illness, and this book I was able to get my hands on and it's an incredible journey of, like you said, you know, a testament of your story, but also helping your dad, helping your friend.
Alyssa Mortel:And.
Catherine Daniels:I just wonder if you could bring us back to the beginning, Alyssa. So how old were you when you were diagnosed?
Alyssa Mortel:So I was not diagnosed with any of my illnesses until I was 23, but I started experiencing symptoms much younger I was actually. I had ear problems all the way back to when I was about four months old, and I experienced my first fibromyalgia flare when I was seven.
Catherine Daniels:Wow.
Alyssa Mortel:But I wasn't diagnosed with fibromyalgia until I was yeah, like I said 23. I was actually told at 16 that they couldn't see me making it to 18. Wow.
Catherine Daniels:So I was yeah, I had that feel at 16 years old being told that. 16 years old being told that Okay.
Alyssa Mortel:Yeah, it was awful. Actually, I isolated myself because you know, when you're, when you're 16 years old, you know your brain isn't quite developed yet You're going through so many changes. You're an adolescent, you're dealing with puberty, you're dealing with social pressure, you're dealing with so many different things. And I stopped making friends because I, you know, I was like what's the point if? They're going to be at my funeral three months and it was a horrible, horrible thing to go through.
Catherine Daniels:And you're probably thinking too, like if you were looking back at your journey up to 16, back at your journey up to 16, you were going through, as you said, at seven you had a flare up. So you're remembering those flare ups, you're remembering what that felt like and I'm sure there was a part of you that didn't feel seen or didn't feel heard as a child. You know, because you were going through something that was different than other children would experience.
Alyssa Mortel:Yeah, it was, it was. It was really hard to understand because you know, when you're a little kid, you want to run and play and you want to do all these things that all the other kids are doing. Everyone's involved in sports. I grew up in the mountains in Colorado, so everyone's a skier, snowboarder and you know everyone's sledding, everyone's playing soccer, Everybody's doing all these things that you want to be involved in.
Alyssa Mortel:But you're in so much pain you don't understand and you think you're crazy. Or you're told you look fine, because on the outside you do. And that's another reason why I named the book invisible warriors, because from the outside it is invisible. You can't see these illnesses and you're fighting a battle inside your own body and you're trying your best to understand what's happening, but you don't. And then when I was diagnosed, I was diagnosed with something. Well, when I was 16, I was diagnosed with, you know, medically unknown symptoms. So the only thing they could see was that I had inflammation everywhere, but they didn't. All my other tests were normal. So they were saying, yes, there is something medically wrong. So no, you're not crazy. So they were saying, yes, there is something medically wrong, so no, you're not crazy, but we don't know what's wrong and how?
Catherine Daniels:how did that affect you, like with your friends, for example? Because I mean, when you're a teenager, as you stated, it's a hard thing to go through puberty and all the changes that are happening in your body. But, alyssa, you had all these other changes that were happening in your body on top of that.
Alyssa Mortel:And how did your friends react to that? I didn't have the best of friends and then again I isolated myself. So I really took myself out of a lot of friend groups and, um, I was really lucky with my parents because I had really good parents. So I um, I was truly blessed there and I pushed myself academically and found things that I could strive for, and I found also that you can make your own decisions. You create your own reality.
Alyssa Mortel:So you have to decide whether or not you want to be miserable and accept what other people say or you want to find joy, and luckily, my dad is a very funny person and we as a family, our kind of motto is we didn't make it this far to have a bad time, and so I really took that to heart and luckily, I decided to choose joy over anything else, and I strive for that. So I found beauty in every day and I found beauty in the world and in dancing. I really loved ballet and I really loved um. I'm a nerd, so I love mathematics and I um, I went for things like that every day and I chose that the diagnosis that they gave me was not going to be my story and um, went all in on things like that went all in on things like that.
Catherine Daniels:I appreciate that so much and I'm just wondering if you could pull that layer back a little bit more and tell us about what was that defining moment that really allowed you to make that decision, that you weren't going to let this define you, I think when it comes down to, you have to look inside yourself and you have to get kind of a divine download where you have to really decide, you know, is this going to go one way or the other?
Alyssa Mortel:Am I going to give up and sit in misery or sit in and never get out of the bed, or am I going to stand up and take a step forward? You know it's when you're a kid, a baby, for example, and you're struggling to walk, your parents don't sit there and say, well, she's just not a walker, I guess she stumbles and you're not going to make it kid. No, they encourage you to walk. You're going to make it, you know. I know you fell, you can do this and one day you do. You get up and you walk and then you run, then you learn how to ride a bike. But you fall a lot and that's part of life and that's how I looked at it. I'm going to fall, I'm going to stumble, it's going to hurt, but I know that I can do this even though it hurts.
Catherine Daniels:So did you shut off a part of your life because of this? No, okay, well, that's good. I mean, if you were to go back to your seven-year-old self, what would you say to that little seven-year-old self? What would you say to that little seven-year-old girl you can do it.
Alyssa Mortel:Keep going, keep getting up. We're going to make it. It's going to be okay. I love that You're beautiful. We got this.
Catherine Daniels:I love that. Yeah, we got this. I love that. Yeah, was there a point in time where there was, like this really stark contrast of dark and light that really gave you that awareness? Oh, yeah, can you share with us about?
Alyssa Mortel:that yeah, I mean, there's been plenty of times where, you know, I've cried myself to sleep or I've been in the dark places and I've been, you know, 10 feet under and you know you think you hit rock bottom and it's deeper than that and you're like, okay, this is my rock bottom.
Alyssa Mortel:And then you go deeper and deeper down and like, well, I thought that was my rock bottom, but now I'm 10 feet deeper and way further down in the mud and I thought that that was my rock bottom, but now I'm 10 feet deeper and way further down in the mud and I thought that that was my rock bottom.
Alyssa Mortel:You know, and you know I've I've had dreams that I've pursued with every, everything I've had, that an illness got in the way and I've had to completely give up. And you know, I thought that was my divine calling or that was my assignment. And I've chased with absolutely everything in me but again had to give up because of being sick and having to get a surgery or having to go this way or that way, really having to let it go and release it and that's not an easy thing to do and being in pain every single day and having to choose to take a deep breath and say okay, I know I'm in pain today, but I'm going to take a deep breath and go forward anyway, despite the pain. You know, and that is a decision, a choice that I consciously make every single day, and that that's hard, it's not easy, it's never easy. But you know, despite that, you make those choices.
Catherine Daniels:But you know, despite that, you make those choices. So what helps you to pivot? That's my word. I'm putting on it because when you get to a point where you have to accept that you're not going to be able to do something and you have to go a different direction, you're basically pivoting. Go a different direction, you're basically pivoting. What, what helped you with pivoting?
Alyssa Mortel:like moving past that dream into a new space. Um, the biggest thing is understanding that there are false beliefs that I carry, that we all carry, and, um, seeing those false beliefs and then, um, then exposing that that voice in your head, that negative voice that you hear, isn't real. That that is a, that you can control that voice and say you know, you're really not welcome here and I have compassion for myself and I love myself and I have self-worth, and that self-worth and self-confidence are different things One is real, one is false and that took me a long time to understand.
Catherine Daniels:So I'm going to slow you down here for a second because I am feeling that somebody needs an understanding, listening to show what the difference is.
Alyssa Mortel:So maybe you can explain that? Show what the difference is. So maybe you can explain that, absolutely Understanding that self-worth is something that comes from above and within, and so self-worth is something that you is truly solid, that your inner knowing and the divine knowing will tell you that nothing can shake. It's a foundational thing. It's true, true love for yourself, the compassion for yourself, unshakable foundation.
Catherine Daniels:And what gave you that, Alyssa?
Alyssa Mortel:What gave me that was finally letting go of all of those false things that I had been told or that others kind of put into me, and showing myself true compassion and showing myself true compassion.
Catherine Daniels:So for someone who's listening right now that may be confined to a bed with MS or has some other, you know, chronic illness and they're listening to your story and part of what they're asking themselves is do I fit in the qualification bucket of, you know, self-sabotage with a limiting belief or something I believe? So maybe you could share a little bit about, like what was something that you were struggling with that you had to undo the script to rewrite so that you would have stronger self-worth in yourself, absolutely.
Alyssa Mortel:So I've been there where I couldn't get out of bed, um, and I was in so much pain and I was so sick that I couldn't move, really, um, and one of the scripts that I would listen to over and over and over again in my head was um, you're not enough. All your friends have someone else. They're fine without you. And I would hear this script over and over and over again in my head. And, you know, even if you weren't around, everyone would be okay, and it was so loud and so real to me You're a burden. It was awful and untrue. I am a blessing, and so are you. Whoever's listening out there, you are a true blessing to everyone that you know, and you have to show yourself compassion and understand that deep within you. And how you unravel that voice is understanding who's saying it, because that's not coming from within you, that's coming from a false belief, a false voice, and the voice that's saying it you have to talk back to and how you do. That is what I did, personally, was I argued with it and I said well, am I a burden to my family? No, because they get joy and love from me. My family loves me, my friends love me. If I wasn't around, they would miss me. They would know that I you know how would they feel if I wasn't around. I know they wouldn't miss me. I know they would mourn me. I bring a lot of joy to my friends' lives and I know that they love me because they come and they pick me up. They go out of their way to pick me up when I can't drive, to take me to the movies, to take me to the pool in the hot springs, or to go on picnics and hikes with them. Even when I can't walk, they'll push me around in a wheelchair. If they didn't like me and I was a burden, why would they take the time to do that? Right?
Alyssa Mortel:So you have to really argue with that voice, and that voice will slowly and I mean slowly start to get quieter and more annoying. And so, finally, I started making that voice sound annoying in my head, and now that voice sounds like hey, you, I think you're just like this little me. And I'm like shush, you're not welcome here, you go away, cancel, bye. So whenever it shows up now it sounds like this little annoying little hey, you're not pretty, you're overweight. And I'm like no, I'm not. I'm cute, I like my hair, I like how sound, I like, I like things about me.
Alyssa Mortel:And I started showing myself compassion and I argue with it, when it used to sound really loud and really truthful and my voice would sound like that annoying little mosquito. And now my voice is the powerful one and it took time and it took effort and it wasn't easy and I want your listeners to hear that it's not easy and it does take time and it takes practice and it's hard because it feels so true, but it's not. It's not true. That voice is not real and your thoughts aren't necessarily real.
Catherine Daniels:Those beliefs.
Alyssa Mortel:What's true is that you are worthy. You are here for a reason. You are not a burden. You are not guilty or shamed or shameful. You are beautiful.
Catherine Daniels:Was there someone in your life who used to say things like that to you? Oh yeah.
Alyssa Mortel:Oh yeah, I had. I had a few relationships that were very, very toxic and people that put in these things in me that would make me feel so guilty for just being me and for not understanding you know. They would say, well, you know me well enough that you should know how I'm thinking and I'm not a mind reader. And it took me a long time to understand that I wasn't a mind reader and don't have to be.
Alyssa Mortel:Oh, I'm allowed not to be a mind reader. Yeah, yeah, you're allowed, it's okay to not be a mind reader. Nobody is, that's okay, and I still, to this day, struggle with it.
Catherine Daniels:I mean, you know, I mean it's okay yeah, I feel a lot of times we adopt these narratives because, as you know, as women we're so incredibly strong that we extend ourselves out and we're always worried about everybody else, and we're so worried about everybody else that we overextend, and then we take a part of ourselves in the process.
Alyssa Mortel:Absolutely, and we don't want to be a bother. Right, I don't want to bother them, I don't want to do this and I get. I mean, I'm to this day. People are like I have friends or you know people in my life that say you know, stop the reassurance or the self-assurance every 10 seconds. Sometimes I need to self-assure myself every 10 seconds. I'm going through one of those days.
Catherine Daniels:I love what you said about having self-compassion and just recognizing that the thoughts you were having were not serving you or productive to serving you in a healthy way. And my audience you know, as they're listening to me talk the way I'm talking because I've had surgery on my jaw I can relate very much with sitting in a space of sometimes we feel like it's hell, right, but we're in the valley and we are sitting in the valley. We're in the valley and we are sitting in the valley. And I don't know about you, alyssa, but when I'm sitting in the valley, my savior is God every time, because God's the one I'm crying out to. God's the one that's sitting with me and sees me and knows what I'm experiencing and going through and going through. And for me, it's when those thoughts start to bombard me, as they try to bombard me. I'm reminded of how we're part of God. We have God in us, but that evil side we do not. So we have to physically speak. You know, I rebuke this and it's just. You know, in these moments I feel like that's when we are. If we're not armored up in the strength of our God, we, we will expose ourselves to being attacked, right? So I love what you were saying about, you know, just having it in check, knowing that that voice felt real and was kind of drowning you in a moment of time, but slowly you were able to release and undo. And all of our experiences, whatever we've experienced in life some are good, some are bad they're all meant for us to use as part of our life journey and our life assignment. So when I sit in those valleys I often remind myself of that, that I'm sitting in the valley and God is on the other side of this mountain working for me. Incredible, because through the months that I've been going through my process, the blessings that have been bestowed by God's grace, far surpassed what I would have ever imagined.
Catherine Daniels:And I think that's part of the two. It's just surrenderingering. Surrendering to this is an experience that I'm experiencing for the greater good. It's just what do you do with it, how do you use it? And I'm reminded of one of the first interviews that I've ever done for retreat to peace and had this beautiful guest that was a massage therapist, and I'll never forget the story because it puts it in perspective.
Catherine Daniels:She volunteers at a state hospital and she goes to the state hospital and the state hospital is one that people relinquish their family members too, because financially they can't afford them or, you know, legally whatever it may be, or maybe they don't have family, but this particular woman was paralyzed and she couldn't move and she couldn't talk. And she couldn't move and she couldn't talk, she could hear and she could only see. That's it. So if you can imagine every day of your life, the only thing you can do is just look out of the window of your eyes, and that's your reality, window of your eyes, and that's your reality. So the ceiling or the peripheral of what she had around her, that was her world. Like. If you could imagine that.
Catherine Daniels:And I'll never forget that interview because my guest literally broke down crying when we were talking about this particular person and it just, it just reminds me.
Catherine Daniels:I'll never forget it, because it just reminds me how much we have to be grateful for you know, how much we have that we can still do with our lives and the testimony that we can be for the next generation or even, you know, to help people right now that are suffering.
Catherine Daniels:So it's just, you know, it just really puts things in perspective and what I loved so, so much about your Invisible Warrior book was that you didn't write this for you. You wrote this to help other people that were dealing with loved ones that have chronic illness, and it just comes from this beautiful space in your heart that is unselfishly giving back because you love your dad so much and so deeply, and even your best friend. Like this is what I want to do to help you so that you know how to help me, and it's just such a beautiful testament of your heart and I just love that so much. So I'm sure your dad read it cover to cover. Did he fill out all the fun spaces and all the questions you ask and did he? Did he have any feedback?
Alyssa Mortel:for your book. You know it was so funny. He's, um, he's from the older, you know, an older generation, he's a boomer and he, um, he gets the. You know, he's very stubborn and he gets in his own way and he goes. I'm not gonna fill this out, I'm never gonna, you know, because it's part workbook to really help strengthen people's understanding, and so you know, it's got a lot of the notes and stuff and so he's I'm never going to fill this out. And two days later he's sitting there with a pencil, like he's got it in his mouth and he's like and so I walked over to where he's got his chair in the living room and oh, it's, it's like fine print, teeny little writing, and he filled out every single line. So he really worked on it.
Alyssa Mortel:But it was really cute, I have to go back and you know I was just hearing what you were saying about the valley and you know God is God is who I speak to in the valley too. And you know it's those times in the valley that I have found, especially in my life too, where I find that I end up digging. You know I get a shovel and I dig myself deeper sometimes when I'm in those valleys, taking control of my own life, and I'm praying to God and I'm asking for help, but I'm digging my own hole, saying I can get myself out. You know, god help me, but I'm digging a hole and, um, it is when I surrender and I say you know what I'm going to. I'm going to throw up my shovel down and let it go and surrender to God. And that is when I find that those miracles and those things, um, work out the best. And it's when we're in those valleys and those spaces that the deepest blessings in our lives come, because that's what he's working the hardest in our lives and really saving those ways for us. And it's in those valleys. It was in the deepest valley of my life when this book came to me, and it is.
Alyssa Mortel:I did write it for others and that is what I'm trying to do through this book for others, and the reason that I wrote it, like you said, was for my father my best friend and the reason that I wrote it the way that I did it took me so long to write was that you can give it to anybody that I wrote it the way that I did it took me so long to write was that you can give it to anybody.
Alyssa Mortel:You know you can really gift it to somebody and say, if you're the one suffering, you can give it to anybody and say you know, this is what I'm going through and they can really understand. But on the other side, you can gift it to somebody and say this is what I think you're going through and they can understand. So if it was my dad, he could give it to me and we could finally build, you know, that bridge together. So it's great for family members If you're trying to connect to each other and finally understand each other. I know so many people that are suffering with chronic illness and suffering and they just don't understand each other.
Alyssa Mortel:I can't tell you how many conversations I've had over the years where people are going, I don't know, maybe they're just lazy, maybe they're just. I just don't understand. They're so negative all the time. I just want to hear something positive from them. It's so hard to be their friend, or it's so hard to be their aunt or uncle or whatever their mother even, or uncle or whatever their mother even, because they're just so I don't know, I can't connect.
Alyssa Mortel:And this book is that bridge and I've always, you know, I've heard so many times too, with fatigue, for example. Well, I'm tired too, I don't want to go to work, it's, it's more than that and it's so hard for people to understand. It was just like what you were saying. Can you imagine just having that, just your window, for a second? I can live in that space for a little while. But it's like when I try to explain my pain level to people, you know I live at an eight, that's my baseline. I don't ever leave that because of I've got functional neurological disorder and fibromyalgia, and so once I hit that, my pain level never goes down, it only goes up. And people are like how do you function, how do you even walk or drive or talk or act Like? How do you smile? And it's because I choose to. What's my other option? Staying in bed all day Melting.
Alyssa Mortel:You have to live your life and it's it's hard to comprehend, you know. And so that's why, in my first chapter of the book and stuff, I start with mindset, because you have to get your minds there, um, because it is such a hard thing for others to comprehend, especially if you've never been sick. You know you're going through so much with your jaw and your mouth and things like that. But when you ask people, have you ever had a bad toothache? Yeah, but once you're out of pain, it's.
Alyssa Mortel:So I try to challenge people a little bit and it's kind of fun. In my book I ask people what you know, which is their dominant hand, and then I say take your, your ring finger and your pinky and tape them down with like some medical tape. You know, not hard enough to cut out blood supply, but try to live your, you know your day like that. I know I've challenged you to do this before and it's people are like, oh, that would be hard. You know driving, typing. I had one good friend of mine. She actually accepted that challenge and she went to work like that and stuff, and she called me and she goes. I made it an hour before I had to take the tape off. I couldn't do it.
Catherine Daniels:It's funny that we can laugh about her experience, but your experience is not the same and you know not something to laugh about, but it is hard for anyone to conceptualize what someone else is feeling. It's almost like don't know, unless you've walked a mile in my shoes. Right, it's one of those, and there's a couple of things that I just wanted to go back to that you were saying, because the mindset it's shifting, your state it's shifting. You know where you are and knowing where you are, and I have to be honest, I have seen, since COVID and lockdown, this incredible shift in state and mindset and we were talking a little bit off air before we got started around some of what we've witnessed, you know around the world, with increased addiction and suicide and you know all these other things, but I'm saying that. But there's also an increased mortality in regards to chronic illness and cancer and these kinds of things that are really impacting our human species. I mean, let's just be, you know real about it, and I think it's more important than ever which is why I wanted to have you on this show it's more important than ever for people to really be in awareness of what it is that you're putting into your body or what you're listening to or what words you're choosing to accept or take on and adopt into your script that's running through your head.
Catherine Daniels:And you know we hear more and more about how social media has created mental illness and really this isolation, these things that are happening to people where they start to create a stigma against themselves because they don't fit in or what have you. And I mean we all are unique individuals designed to be unique. And what is this fitting in? Because nobody is identical to anybody else, like. We're all individuals with our own thoughts, right. So there has to be an awareness of this where we are making a shift and we're shifting our state and we're shifting the direction that we're leading ourselves into. And I think some of it comes back to just being self-aware. Right, being self-aware and that inner knowing that we talked about earlier. It's like knowing that you're becoming disconnected and then looking for new ways to counter that with connection as your book how's your readers? You know, with guidance.
Catherine Daniels:But this just goes like way beyond the scope of just somebody with chronic illness knows connection piece. I mean, if you're with chronic illness in our lifetime right now, let's be honest, you don't have to go anywhere. You can stay within your four walls and order food and watch Netflix or what have you. You don't have to go anywhere. And then you're more isolated, more isolated, more isolated. Yeah, if you were to go back to some place in your journey, that was probably like a dark place and God's grace comes down and shed this light on me right as I say. How does that shape you? Because I know for me, when God's grace comes in, I'm never surprised by it, because that's just who I am. But most people I share my experience, they're like what, like, are you kidding me?
Catherine Daniels:And I laugh because we all have that same miraculous experience of miracles if our eyes are wide open, right, right. So for you, like, what was something that happened to you that you least expected? That people were like what? Because I think people question I do. I think people question I do. I think people question a lot, especially especially when there's so much darkness surrounding them, you know with what they're listening to or how their thoughts are.
Alyssa Mortel:So Absolutely Well. I did not do well in English. I'll tell you that much right now. I almost pretty much failed it in college. I'm a math minor, so me becoming an author was not in the plan. So what happened to me is I actually slipped on some stairs on my way to work.
Alyssa Mortel:I like to think God kind of pushed me down him, um, and because I was chasing money, I was not chasing my assignment so the money was rolling down the stairs and you were running after it apparently, yeah, and God was going that's not your, uh, not your calling, sweetheart, you're gonna, you're gonna, listen to me whether you want to, daughter, and I go, all right, and, um, I didn't even hit my head, didn't happen. But I jostled it enough that I developed this, um, this functional neurological disorder, and I lost my ability to speak, I lost my memory. Um, I have these blackouts that would last hours. It was terrifying and my pain level went through the roof to the point where I could barely make it from my bed to the couch. For over a year I went through a functional neurological disorder clinic and when I got out of it I wasn't any better, and so I had to figure out how to get myself well on my own. So I really discovered my own steps to getting better, because I refused to make that my life and I worked really hard to getting myself well. And through that journey I wrote my book and I wrote a protocol on how to get myself well, and for a dark time I was in isolation and I really discovered how vicious that cycle can happen so quickly.
Alyssa Mortel:Like you said, you can order food in, you don't have to go out, you don't have to talk to anybody and it becomes so comforting and for a little bit you know, isolating can be healthy, you know, and it can be okay. But it becomes comfortable. And then you get this depression, and then you get this anxiety, and then you get this voice and then you get this you're safe here, you're comfortable here. It's scary out there and you start to become fear comes in and anxiety comes in and it's like you don't want to go outside. You're safe, you're comfortable, you're warm. People don't understand you, they don't see you like we see. You Don't go out there and you don't want to. And all of a sudden it's terrifying out there. You don't want to go out there and it's awful. So one of my biggest my knowing, my calling, started to be ending isolation, which is what I really want to do worldwide when it comes to chronic illness, because you do not have to be alone and you are not alone, even though you feel like it. Even though you're, you could have the weirdest, craziest sounding chronic illness out there. You're not alone. There's somebody else out there that's suffering from something very similar, even if it's not the exact same thing.
Alyssa Mortel:Say, you have arthritis, but only in your left knee and only when it rains every Tuesday, or only on Tuesdays, you know.
Alyssa Mortel:But because of social media, it's made it so hard for us to find each other.
Alyssa Mortel:And even if you do find a group on social media, it's public and there are people out there, unfortunately, who seem to be bored or whatever, who troll and add stigma and say you're lying or you're ridiculous and you're this and you're that, and who are cruel and anonymous because they feel powerful behind a screen where they don't have any punishments and because we're human, we'll hear a hundred positive things or a million positive things, but one negative, and we will focus on the negative and it's it's awful, and because that's my highest knowing and that's my highest calling, I you know, my website does I am trying to create a ground, you know, a grassroots movement where you can join a membership on my website and there is a forum for you to go on and create your own page that says I do get arthritis, but only on when it rains on Tuesday and only in my left knee.
Alyssa Mortel:And other people can say me too, how do you solve it? I use this. That works for me, does it work for you? And you can find solace and encouragement and empowerment in your community with each other, and end that loneliness and that isolation and say, one person is in Tibet and the other person is in the UK and somebody else is in Texas, and because there's that little bit of fee, it's going to hopefully keep those trolls out and I can use those funds to get peer-reviewed papers and good things to help support that community and help it grow. And that's what I really, really want to do, so that you don't feel isolated, so that doesn't feel so easy anymore, you can end that loneliness, especially now that we're coming into these seasons.
Catherine Daniels:I love the way that you articulated the rabbit hole, going down that rabbit hole, because I think everybody I'm just, you know, thinking in my own life I think everybody knows somebody. Yeah, that is dealing with something.
Alyssa Mortel:And I think that's why this is so important, this book is so important, my website is so important is because, unfortunately, in this world that we live in it's true, especially after COVID there's long COVID there's all these other things that are happening. True, especially after COVID there's long COVID there's all these other things that are happening. Brain fog has become a normal thing that we say, where five years ago nobody knew what that was Right, and now it's part of our vernacular where people are saying it and they know what they're talking about, which is terrifying. And again, you know.
Alyssa Mortel:That's why I think medical jargon and things get in the way of miscommunication and people are again saying well, you weren't sick yesterday, why can't you come into work today? And you're like because I can't find my keys, I can't figure out what's happening in my brain, and it's because of the brain fog and it's because of fatigue, and people are going oh well, you're just lazy. No, I can't get out of bed, I don't know what's happening to me, and that's why I wrote this book, that's why things are there, because you need to understand what's going on and you need to be able to have a resource to give to somebody and say this is what's going on in a way that's accessible and easy to understand.
Catherine Daniels:Alyssa, the ability that you have to come into the world with so much enthusiasm to help other people that are suffering, knowing that you yourself are at an eight all the time I'm using your words. It is hands down, unbelievably selfless and just beautiful. And really this is you know why it was so important for me to have you, because you just see your heart and I see what you're trying to do and it's so beautiful. And people that are not in chronic illness and are at an eight, they may have other things, like you know.
Catherine Daniels:I think about people that suffer from post-traumatic stress, for example, 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Their nervous system is fired off all the time, you know, constantly aware of whether they're safe or not safe, you know, and it's a similar thing because it's like your body's still firing, it's still firing, still firing. So it it it's. Not everybody can understand the different levels of pain that people experience, but I think everybody can understand that, a, they've experienced pain at some level that maybe they can relate. B, they know somebody that this work you're doing can help. Or C, maybe it's something that they're passionate about too and want to learn more and help and do something.
Alyssa Mortel:But definitely a chronic, can be considered chronic illness because it is something that affects every single system of the body Because, like you said, you're firing. I mean, that's cortisol, that's norepinephrine, that is dumping, everything that that is putting your body into fight, flight freeze. That affects your gut, that affects your brain, that affects everything. Mental disorders, depression, adhd, anxiety, ptsd, those are all. Those are all chronic illnesses, you know, or could be considered them, because it affects everything that you do. You know, my book covers a lot of those mental disorders, because did you know that there's more signals coming from the gut to the brain than the other way around? Really, yeah, they're calling it the second brain and those were just that. I mean, there's a recent discoveries.
Catherine Daniels:That's unbelievable.
Alyssa Mortel:Right, these are amazing things that we're just discovering, um, and people need to know these things. People need to be talking about these things because so many people suffer. It's that we're raised in the 90s, you know. We're just discovering the things that we ate and the way that we were born. Even we we're suffering extremely from that. I personally was you know this might be too much information, but I was a emergency C-section and because I wasn't swabbed properly, I didn't get a microbiome, so my gut has never been correct a microbiome, so my gut has never been correct. So those signals that I should be receiving, I didn't get that. So I had to discover my proper diet later, later, later in life. So the way that I eat really affects my, the way that my day goes. That's interesting, really, really important things, and that is from birth.
Catherine Daniels:Yeah, well, you look at even more recently, with 2020 and the lockdown. That's trauma, oh, huge To every single human being on the planet. Yeah, and I say this all the time where is that trauma gonna attach in the body? Because every human has been through something with that experience, yeah, so where does it attach? And then, you know, does it develop into something more.
Catherine Daniels:And, like you were saying, you know the long covid you're hearing about that more and more where people are just suffering for long, long durations of time and all the new things that are coming out with it makes it really makes you really makes you want to think about how we are treating each other too. Right, because now more than ever, there's this narrative going around that we should all be against each other, but everybody that listens to this platform knows that part of the mission is to build a bridge around the world and unite people so they're not in isolation, so they're not feeling alone. Because you don't have to. So I think you know your message is just so on point for everything that I'm doing as well, and I just can't thank you enough for being here, and I do have another question for you, if I were to pick up your earth angel feather off the ground.
Alyssa Mortel:What would your message to the world be? I think my message to the world honestly, is that you're not alone. You've never been alone, Even in the darkest moments of your heart, where you're in a ball and you look like a punching bag and you're crying and you feel viscerally that you can just feel alone and your heart is screaming. Know that there is someone on the other side of the world that is reaching out for you. That is just someone that just wants to hold your heart and love you and there is a platform out there for that, and that we are waiting for you and that I know that that voice can be so loud. I understand and that we you know that God and that all of us understand, because we've all been there. Loneliness and isolation and all of that is a human condition. But be compassionate to yourself. Tell your little person inside of you that you love them and know that I love you, I'm here for you and bless you.
Catherine Daniels:Alyssa, thank you so so much for being here. I'm so filled with gratitude and appreciation. So so much for being here. I'm so filled with gratitude and appreciation. I just love your heart, I love your mission and everything is yeah. And for the audience. If you're wondering where you can get Alyssa's book, I was able to get mine on Amazon and it's the Invisible Warriors by Alyssa Mortel, living Strong with a better understanding of chronic illness. Thank you again, Alyssa. Thank you so much. And this is Catherine Daniels, with Retreat to Peace, reminding you to live your authentic life in peace and, as always, retreat to Peace and we'll see you next time. Welcome to Retreat to Peace. We're excited to have you today.